The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 11

Norah Vincent

0
Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Jan 25, 2006 on Comedy Central
9.2
out of 10
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7 votes
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Norah Vincent
AIRED:
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes the author of Self-Made Man: One Woman's Journey into Manhood and Back Norah Vincent!

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SUBMIT REVIEW
  • Stephen learns Bill O'Reilly, or Papa Bear, is a fan of the show.

    8.6
    The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from Canada's elections to New Jersey 8th district



    Stephen starts off by mentioning a newspaper article, which claims Bill O'Reilly is actually a fan of The Colbert Report, and it prompts Stephen to show several clips from The O'Reilly Factor.



    Stephen then transitions into Canada's recent elections, in which the liberal party lost their control to the conservative party. This prompts Stephen to claim he's fixed Canada in just three months. Not finished fixing other countries, Stephen works his way into tonight's edition of "The Word," which is "Remote Control," as that's the way we fix things, from a distance. Stephen suggests that we beam The Colbert Report into Iran, and it will fix things there in no time.



    Back from commercial, Stephen introduces another "Better Know A District" segment, which takes a look at the eighth district of New Jersey. Stephen then interviews Congressman Bill Pascrell. They talk about the war in Iraq, Jack Abramoff, and being Italian.



    Back from commercial, Stephen introduces tonight's guest, Norah Vincent, who dressed as a man and and went under cover as one. They chat about what she found out, but we don't end up actually learning anything from the interview.



    Tonight's interview with Norah Vincent was really a disappointment; it didn't live up to the rest of the show. It was largely a waste of time in my opinion.moreless

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  • QUOTES (1)

    • Stephen: …which brings us to tonight's Word: Remote Control. America has the ability to change things at a distance and our president is holding the remote. (Finger on the button) By projecting power we can help the world be like us. Do you know why we invaded Iraq? (Not a clue) To give that country what it sorely lacked. (Smoldering craters?) Americanism, and it worked. (Anti-Americanism is a form of Americanism) Now they have a constitution (We the Factions) They've held elections, (More fair than Ohio) and they're very liberal with the right to bear arms, and they've chosen a God fearing government. (Unfortunately, different God)

      But we can't stop in Iraq. (No exit strategy) Look at the situation in Iran. (Do I have to?) They're building nuclear weapons there. (Oh Shi'ite!) Why? Well, they're doing it for the same reason every country does bad things: they're not American enough. (Except for the nuclear program) They want to be Americans but their Ayatollah's won't let them. (Fatwah against Toby Keith) The answer is simple, we need to use the remote control. (Check the couch cushions) Like everybody, America has more than one remote control and doesn't always know which one to use. (There's one for the ceiling fan?!) We could use the military remote (batteries running low) and bring democracy like we did to Iraq and Afghanistan. (Give them the purple finger) But the problem is it would cost too much money. (And the occasional life) The Iraq war was a little pricier than expected, one or two trillion dollars. (It's the interest that kills ya.)

      That's where I come in. A cable subscription is only fifty bucks. ($60 with Spice) The Department of Defense should start beaming The Colbert Report into Iran. (Split merchandising 50-50) This show is a catalog of American values. (Like Skymall) In one half hour you get all the courage, all the strength, all the wisdom you need. (Plus commercials for "Girls Gone Wild") Once the Iranians here the truth (-iness) they will do what Canadian people have done and choose freedom. The freedom to do whatever I say. (Eat a B.L.T.) And soon, everywhere in the world will be like America. (Finally a reason to travel) But you know, not everyone will be an American, we've got a crowded country here. (The Melting Pot's boiling over) So, sit back on the couch and relax heroes, because when The Colbert Report is beamed into foreign lands, there's just one way to describe the enemy's chances. (Remote)

      And that's the Word

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