The Colbert Report

Season 4 Episode 42


Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Apr 02, 2008 on Comedy Central
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Tonight Stephen welcomes classic American rock band R.E.M. to talk about their new album, "Accelerate".

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (5)

      • Stephen: Babies if you want milk so bad, buy a cow. No free rides.

      • Stephen: I don't need a GPS system to find the truth but I would like a free GPS system (winks). This is the Colbert Report!

      • Stephen Colbert: Finally, the number one threat to air travel: limey baggage handlers! Last week, British Airways opened up its new 8.6 billion dollar terminal at Heathrow in order to relieve congestion at the busy airport. And it worked. They had 250 fewer flights because they were cancelled, stranding the passengers! This is why, whenever I go to England, I travel only by umbrella, flying car, or wardrobe.

      • Stephen Colbert: Threat #3: Pilots. Now, I've never trusted pilots. They get all the credit but all the real work is done by the co-pilot. (Shows picture of Jesus) And now, they're a threat because, on approach to Charlotte, North Carolina, a U.S Airways pilot's gun accidently went off, piercing the cockpit's wall. Now, there are legitimate reasons to fire a gun on an airplane. For instance, sometimes the stewardess button stops working but an accidental discharge is unforgiveable. Apparently, pilots cannot be trusted with guns. So, it's time to arm the passengers. They could put the guns in the snack boxes or, better yet, they could drop with the oxygen masks. If you're traveling with a child, load your gun before loading his.

      • Stephen Colbert: It's a fine line between nipple ring and detonation pin on a boob grenade.

    • NOTES (2)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

    Season 4 Episodes

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    Ep 0516
    Recap - Week of May 12
    Ep 0509
    Recap - Week of May 5
    Ep 0502
    Recap - Week of April 28
    Ep 0425
    Recap - Week of April 21
    Ep 0418
    Recap - Week of April 14
    Ep 0411
    Recap - Week of April 7
    Ep 0404
    Recap - Week of 3/31/08
    Ep 0321
    Recap - Week of Mar 17
    Ep 0314
    Recap - Week of Mar 10
    Ep 0307
    Recap - Week of Mar 3
    Ep 160
    Michael Phelps
    Ep 159
    Richard Haass
    Ep 158
    Charlie Kaufman
    Ep 157
    Geoffrey Canada
    Ep 156
    Nicholas Wade
    Ep 155
    Barbara Walters
    Ep 154
    Jeffrey Goldberg
    Ep 153
    Roland Fryer
    Ep 152
    Thomas Friedman
    Ep 151
    Michael Lewis
    Ep 150
    Paul Simon
    Ep 149
    Malcolm Gladwell
    Ep 148
    Stephen Moore
    Ep 147
    Bob Woodward
    Ep 146
    Kevin Johnson
    Ep 145
    Rachel Maddow