The Colbert Report

Season 1 Episode 18

Rev. Al Sharpton

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Nov 15, 2005 on Comedy Central
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Rev. Al Sharpton
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes Reverend Al Sharpton!

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  • Stephen interviews Reverend Al Sharpton.

    The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from a the bombings in Jordan to country music.

    Stephen starts off the show by speaking about a wedding in Japan, involving one of the members of the royal family.

    Stephen moves on, a little bit, to tonight's edition of "The Word", which is "The Orient". President Bush is currently touring Japan, trying to get away from all of the critics, according to Stephen. Stephen offers some tips to President Bush, so that he can make for a good diplomatic trip.

    Stephen then talks about Korean scientists cloning a dog. He decides to somehow turn this into another piece on reincarnation, called "Bring 'Em Back or Leave 'Em Dead". First up was Sun Xu, author of The Art of War, who the audience decided to bring back, along with the second person, Kim Shi Hwan, who built the Great Wall of China. The audience didn't seem to interested in bring back the 1980s music group, Asia, however.

    Back from commercial, Stephen welcomes tonight's guest, the Reverend Al Sharpton. They talked about the 2004 election, the war in Iraq, and his protest from several years ago.

    Back from commercial, Stephen talks a little bit about torture, a "tool" President Bush and Dick Cheney don't want to lose. Stephen decides to have a debate about torture... with himself in a segment called "Formidable Opponent".

    I have to admit that the interview, of all things, was the best segment. I enjoy Al Sharpton, and this interview was really funny after the first minute or so.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (3)

    • Colbert: Break out some vodka, some lime juice, and the facts. You're about to do an upside down Truthikaze.

    • Stephen: …which brings us to tonight's Word: The Orient. Or what the PC police call Asia. Four little letter, 3 billion little people. President Bush has embarked on an 8 day tour of the continent, he hopes this trip goes better than other trips he's made recently to other continents. Obviously he's not doing that well in North America, (36% approval) his trip to South America had a few bumps, (Angry mobs of torch carrying bumps) Europe seems to think that the President doesn't care what they think, but hey, who cares what they think. (Not the President) They could thank him for all he's done for their flaming effigy industry. Now, I'm not even going to mentions Africa. (Except just now) They have to get themselves together before they can go criticizing someone else. (Sound familiar Charlene?) Of course, Antarctica is frozen, (For a little while) and Australia, country or continent guys, make up your mind. (Penal colony) So Asia is Mr. Bush's chance to find love in a world that has turned against him. (Next on "Lifetime")

      So, Mr. President, here are just a few tips to make a good impression on these wonderful people. Number One: I know he's your father, but don't throw up. (Steer clear of yak) Out vomiting your dad might have made you a legend at Skull & Bones, but sir, it is bad diplomacy. Also while you're in China, don't talk about human rights. (Ix-nay on the Ibet-Tay) It's considered rude okay? Do go to South Korea, not North Korea, you'll recognize South Korea because they're the ones with food. (If you count Kimchi) Don't talk about money, (No Yen or Yuan for You) right now we owe the Chinese billions of dollars. If you bring money up they might ask for it back. We don't have it. Also, while you're there, do grab me a DVD of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." I know it's not our in theaters yet, but I'm pretty sure you can get a copy of in on the streets of Shanghai. Now this is most important: Don't bring back the Asian Bird Flu. You've got to pardon a turkey in about a week, (Tom walks) also, don't bring back pandas.

      Ever since Nixon brought those two cage potatoes Ling-Ling and Sing-Sing back, local news has been obsessed with marsupial sex. I don't need to know who's got a forked hoo-ha or a double whatsit. If I wanna know that's why I have the internet. ( Plus, bears are dangerous marauding animals, although while they're not technically bears, tell that to the bamboo. (Bamboo is murder) Mr. President, if you follow my advice, you'll do fine wooing Asia once everyone sees you with a hot Asian continent on your arm. And once they see that hot Asian continent on your arm, who's gonna call out of the blue? (Charlene?) Europe. They want to talk just to see how you're doing. (So over it) Next thing you know, you're all South America can think about. (Had your chance) And eventually, your true love North American will see the folly of her ways and welcome you back to her loving arms.

      And that my friend is the Word.

    • Stephen Colbert: If we stopped talking about racism, wouldn't racism just go away?

  • NOTES (0)