The Colbert Report

Season 4 Episode 47

Robin Wright

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Apr 10, 2008 on Comedy Central
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Robin Wright
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Tonight Stephen welcomes journalist (specializing in the Middle East) and author of Dreams and Shadows: The Future of the Middle East, Robin Wright.
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      • Stephen: ...which brings us to tonight's Word: Black and White. I'm not talking about seeing races as black & white, I don't see skin color. ("Lucked into" all-White gated community) No, I am talking about seeing our heroes as black & white, in stark colors, not nuanced. I've been asked to accept way too much nuance lately, such as apparently wearing this [Obama in a turban] does not make you a terrorist. And saying this [Reverend Wright: God damn America] is not necessarily means you're anti-American. And this pregnant man used to be a woman but now is a man with a womb but that counts as a pregnant man…[starts to barf] Take it off Jimmy! Take it off! I've very confused. (Not as much as that baby will be) And now someone is trying to tell me that not only was Dr. King a complex, flesh and blood man, but that White America felt threatened by him? Just listen to Princeton professor Cornell West.

        [Video: Cornell West: Martin has been so domesticated and tamed and defamed you know what we call the Santa Clausification of the brother…He just becomes a nice little old man with a smile with toys in his bag not a threat to anybody…Rather than acknowledge him as to what he was as what the FBI said: The most dangerous man in America…]

        Stephen: Really Dr. West? If he was the most dangerous man in America would he be made into this collectible figurine? Adorable! That is a King everyone can embrace for just $16.99! (Plus shipping & revisioning) Now best of all the Santa Clausification of Martin Luther King means we don't need to ruin his legacy with his humanity. (People forget Santa kind of a jag-off) Now I don't want to know about the thousands of difficult moral decision he struggled with, I don't want the hear about his anger, his frailty, his self doubt. I want him to be magic! (Presto civil rights-o!) Because if he's magic that will inspire each of us to stand up and say: There was a great man. No way I could do what he did. I mean nobody could. Well maybe David Blaine. (Would have levitated on Washington) Now the problem with Santa Cluasification is determining exactly when someone becomes magic so we can stop emulating and just start admiring. For instance, I think Mother Theresa became magic when she renounced all Earthly possessions and went to India to help the poor. (Still not as cool as flying nun) And my next door neighbor became magic when he switched all his lightbulbs to compact fluorescents. I mean, I could never do that. (When bulbs burn out Stephen moves) You see with the Santa Cluasification of Martin Luther King, we can just be good for goodness sake and wait for someone greater than ourselves to come down the chimney in the middle of the night and bring us peace and brotherhood. (Some assembly require)

        And that's the Word.

      • Stephen Colbert: What do the people on the ground there think of our country? Do they think of us as the great Satan or the greatest Satan?
        Robin Wright: We've clearly never been so unpopular as we are today. Things could change with a new administration. It's a really tough time because people are scared of democracy. We've discredited the idea of democracy in the region because the costs are so high, because they're worried about chaos, it hasn't provided answers, there is no greater electricity in downtown Baghdad.
        Stephen Colbert: Is there a leader out there who can take over who will both like us and they'll like?
        Robin Wright: Well, no, there is no one who has emerged yet.
        Stephen Colbert: I did very well in South Carolina.

      • Stephen Colbert: I call solar panels surrender panels.

      • Stephen Colbert: (to guest Robin Wright) General Petraeus or General Hooray-us?

      • Stephen Colbert: Nation, last Friday was the 40th anniversary of Martin Luther King. Now, I marked the occasion as I always do, by sleeping late, in the hopes that I would have a dream as good as his.

      • Stephen Colbert: From Dominique…we've got this great piece. (shows Pennsylvania student work) War plus Hillary equals peace. It's a beautiful picture but I think the math here might be faulty. Last time I checked, the solution to that equation was War plus Hillary equals "I take responsibility for my vote. It was a sincere vote based on the facts and assurances we had at the time. Obviously, I would not vote that way again if we knew then what we know."

      • Stephen Colbert: Anyway, it's official. The Troops will be in Iraq until Bush leaves office. That is not passing the buck to the next president. That is ridiculous. With the current state of the dollar, it's more like passing 85 cents. Tops!

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