The Colbert Report

Season 4 Episode 36

Samantha Power

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Mar 17, 2008 on Comedy Central
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Samantha Power
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Tonight Stephen welcomes Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and author of Chasing the Flame: Sergio Vieira de Mello and the Fight to Save the World, Samantha Power.
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    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (6)

      • Stephen: If you're filling out your tournament brackets, I always go with C. This is the Colbert Report!

      • Stephen: My guest Samantha Power is a former foreign policy adviser to Barack Obama. Who says he's inexperienced? He already has a former foreign policy adviser.

      • Stephen: In celebration of St. Patrick's Day, there are no snakes in this studio. But, there is one angry mongoose.

      • Stephen: Does America believe it is in a recession? A Euro for your thoughts.

      • Stephen: Nation, it's tempting to say that 'our economy is in the crapper'. But I think that's unfair. It is past the crapper, down the tubes, out the illegal runoff pipe, into the ocean where lobsters are feeding on it.

      • Stephen: …which brings us to tonight's Word: The Audacity of Hopelessness. Our economy is based on consumer confidence, when we believe things are good, they are good. (Explains Eliot Spitzer) And folks, I try to do my part for example: [turns to other camera] Hey, gross national product, have you been working out? [turns back] Now unfortunately people loose confidence whey the hear news like last month 63,000 people lost their jobs. I think it's better to point out that for the same period the unemployment rate actually went down one tenth of one percent. Now here's the question I bet you're asking. ("Are you hiring?") You're asking: If we lost all those jobs, how did the unemployment rate go down? Well the government measures the unemployment rate by going door to door and asking people of they're working. (Jehovah's statisticians) Now if they say no but are trying to find work that person is officially unemployed, but of the answer is I am not working and I have stopped even looking for work they're not listed as unemployed. (Listed as "musicians") You see the jobless rates dropped last month because so many people just gave up.

        Now the government calls these people discouraged workers, but that's a downer. I call them the hopeless heroes because they help us lower the unemployment rate without the time consuming step of creating jobs. (It's hard work, but nobody gets to do it) And if everyone who lost their job followed by losing their hope we'd be on our way to zero unemployment. Zero! Now there's a number that inspires confidence, and when there's confidence there's spending and before you know it our economy will be chugging along again and jobs will be created for all the heroes who accepted that they'll never find one. But for that to happen first a lot of people have to give up hope. Just try this: every morning get up out of bed, look yourself in the mirror then get back into bed. (Your pillows will greet you as liberators) Sooner or later folks you will no longer count. (Or shower) So don't lose confidence because of the failure of Bear Stearns, lose confidence because it's the right thing to do. (The audacity of hopelessness)

        And that's the Word.

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