The Colbert Report

Season 3 Episode 16

Sen. Charles Schumer

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Feb 01, 2007 on Comedy Central
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Sen. Charles Schumer
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Tonight Stephen welcomes New York Senator Charles Schumer.

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      • Stephen: Superbowl Sunday isn't for three more days but Colbert Report Thursday starts right now. This is the Colbert Report!

      • Stephen: …which brings us to tonight's Word. We Shall Overcome. The Congressional Black Caucus was founded in the late 60s with the aim of quote "achieving greater equity for persons of African descent." Well, greater equity has been achieved, (Just not "equity") but they're still around. Luckily, illegal immigrant fighting, Colorado Congressman and Presidential candidate Tom Tancredo has had enough of the Congressional Black Caucus. (Went black, want to go back) Last week he said quote: "It is utterly hypocritical for Congress to extol the virtues of a colorblind society while officially sanctioning caucuses that are based solely on race." Bravo sir! It takes a subtle mind to find hypocrisy in Congress. (Line finding hay in haystack) But eliminating the Black Caucus is going too far, we must take baby steps. (First: stop giggling at "caucus") The proper model is the Hispanic Congressional Conference, a Republican group which has five full members and eleven associate members who are not Hispanic. The majority of the Republican Hispanic Conference is white. That is being color blind. (Also color-deaf and dumb) If Tancredo were just a member of the Hispanic Congress when he spoke out against illegal Mexican immigrants it would carry a lot more weight. (For very low wages) I am calling for all minority caucuses to open their ranks to white members. It's only fitting that minorities be minorities within their own caucuses. Or is affirmative action only okay when you've been oppressed for centuries? (Affirmative) If they don't open their memberships then Tancredo and his buddies should start their own group. I mean it is only fair to ask: Where's the Congressional White Caucus? (It's called "Congress")

        And folks, that's the Word.

      • Stephen: People tell me I'm white and I believe them because the police call me sir.

      • Stephen: Some people don't want to see Harriet Tubman on a space train.

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