The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 125

Senator Byron Dorgan

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Oct 04, 2006 on Comedy Central
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Senator Byron Dorgan
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Tonight Stephen welcomes North Dakota Senator Byron Dorgan, author of Take This Job and Ship It: How Corporate Greed And Brain-Dead Politics Are Selling Out America.
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      • Stephen: It's easy to get claps when you support the middle class because everybody thinks they're in it.

      • Stephen: …which brings us to tonight's Word: Must-Not-See-TV. Members of the Supreme Court have come out against this legislation and they're right. (Often far right) You know my good friend Antonin Scalia, salutations my brother, has been a long time opponent of cameras in the courtroom. (Camera adds ten pounds of civil liberties) You see he believes it will misinform as much as it informs. (Like Tony Snow) And Clarence Thomas actually agrees with him! (Thomas said something?!?) You know when I found that out you could have knocked me over with a feather. (Or pubic hair) The Supreme Court is the highest judicial body in the land, not some sort of reality show, (Survivor: Guantanamo Bay) plus Congress does not have the right to compel the Supreme Court to do anything. (You're Not The Boss v. Me) They are co-equal branches of government. (Both subservient to executive) I think we should get rid of both the legislative and judicial branches, besides, once we get rid of habeas corpus, I don't know what's going to be left for the courts to do. (Chaperone pages?) But the biggest reasons judges fear cameras in the courtroom was put best by Justice Thomas who earlier this year said quote: "Members of the Court who now have some degree of anonymity would lose their anonymity."

        You see, Justices have a right to some privacy, which is different than a right to privacy. The right to privacy does not exist in the Constitution. (Only right to private guns) Justice Thomas understands the difference, see the court not allowing cameras to tape oral arguments, that's privacy; what gay people do in their bedrooms on the other hand is not protected by the right to privacy. (Lawrence v. Texas) And you know, think of John Roberts, he's a good looking guy. (Justice McDreamy) If he was on TV he couldn't walk the streets, he'd be like Paul McCartney in 1965. (Ruth Bader Ginsberg=Ringo) It would be teenage girls chasing after him. (Demanding a right to choose) That is an unreasonable invasion of his privacy, unlike warrantless searches of your home, (Georgia v. Randolph) which are perfectly reasonable in that they don't involve a camera in his courtroom. So, Congress, keep the Supreme Court off television, those justices have to be able to make the decision that we have no right to privacy in private. (Must-Not-See-TV)

        And that's the Word

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