The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from signing statements to condom usage.
Stephen starts off tonight's show by mentioning his "blazing" headache, but he promises to soldier on for us. Stephen's mood perks right up when he mentions the San Francisco Zoo has named a baby eagle after him. Well, they've sent him some new video to show. It features Stephen Jr. being fed by two eagles. Stephen, however, thinks both of them are male eagles. Stephen's pissed off by the idea of his baby boy being raised by gay eagles. He asks the San Francisco Zoo to investigate this immediately.
Stephen moves on to the surprise announcement of Porter Goss stepping down as the head of the CIA. Stephen shows a clip from The McLaughlin Group, which features one commentator offering up a rumor for the resignation. One of the other commentators yelled at her for spreading rumors and innuendo. This same person goes on to offer his own rumors and innuendo, making himself look like a hypocrite at the least. Well, President Bush has nominated Michael Hayden, a member of the military, to take over the CIA. Stephen's a big fan of active military personnel taking over civilian organizations.
Moving on, Stephen mentions some good news that The Boston Globe actually printed. It's an article about President Bush challenging hundreds of laws. He's issued twice as many signing statements as all other presidents combined. This brings us to tonight's edition of "The Word," which is "Not." Stephen says that the critics of using signing statements should make a law that would put an end to signing statements... not.
Back from commercial, Stephen brings up the subject of the Kentucky Derby. Stephen lost $5,000 with some ill-advised bets.
Stephen moves on to another edition of the "Threat Down." The number five threat is salaries. A new report has come out which tells us how much money a house-wife should make. Stephen's upset because he thinks it devalues husbands. The fourth threat is that there is no threat number four, which has never happened before. Threat number three is the pope. The Vatican is considering permitting the use of condoms to protect people from AIDS. Instead of using condoms, Stephen suggests using "Colbert Condon'ts". They are small wet paper napkins, which have the scent of old people, which is sure to rid you of your erection. Also, on the back of the wrapper is a picture of your mom. Threat number two is the Geography Police. Another study has come out, showing how little Americans know about the location of certain countries like Iraq, which has been in the news for some time now. The number one threat this week is bears. A hunter has killed a "Pizzly" bear, a cross between a Polar Bear and a Grizzly Bear. Stephen's worried about bears cross-breading, making it possible to kill humans in any condition.
Back from commercial, Stephen welcomes tonight's guest, Shere Hite. They have a very humorous discussion on sexuality, Shere Hite's area of expertise.
Tonight's episode was above average. The interview was not only very funny, but I thought the "Threat Down" tonight was one of the best ever. It's always a favorite segment of mine, but this one had some very funny lines... great writing, guys.