The Colbert Report

Season 5 Episode 84

Simon Schama

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Jun 22, 2009 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

Simon Schama
Tonight Stephen welcomes historian and author of The American Future: A History, Simon Schama.
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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (2)

    • Stephen: Tonight: There's an enemy among us. I suggest punching randomly till we find it. And my guest Simon Schama has written a history of the future of our country. I can't wait to find out when we elect our first Roomba President. Summer is in full swing. Hey summer, consider a jock strap. This is the Colbert Report.

    • Jeff Goldblum: That's right Stephen, because there's one smell that even Zicam can't take away, the sweet smell of freedom. The freedom to put up our noses what, or whom, we please. Would anyone dare tell George Washington not to take snuff? Or Benjamin Franklin not to sniff the frilly undergarments of French whores? So instead of hurling scorn at Zicam we should be throwing it roses. Instead of pulling Zicam off the shelf we should be spraying it into our hearts. Because the can destroy our sense of smell, but they can't destroy our sense of self. And, don't forget to check out Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Sundays at 9 on USA.
      Stephen: I'll do that Jeff, and so will all these people. I understand why you were here on Thursday defending the rights of the fly the President killed, but, um, why are you still here?
      Jeff: Why am I still here? What am I doing here? What is any of us doing here Stephen? What is doing? And what is here?
      Stephen: Jeff, I absolutely have to get on with my show.
      Jeff: Isn't it time for all of us to get on with our shows? Isn't it time for our shows to get on with us?
      Stephen: Just leave!!!
      Jeff: Goldblum out.

  • NOTES (0)


Season 5 Episodes

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Tom Brokaw
Ep 160
Alicia Keys
Ep 159
Snoop Dogg
Ep 158
Lara Logan
Ep 157
Matt Taibbi
Ep 156
Andy Schlafly
Ep 155
Bill T. Jones
Ep 154
Janet Napolitano
Ep 153
Craig Watkins
Ep 152
Sherman Alexie
Ep 151
Cevin Soling
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Elvis Costello
Ep 149
Norah Jones
Ep 148
Malcolm Gladwell
Ep 147
Paul Goldberger
Ep 146
Woody Harrelson
Ep 145
Christopher Caldwell
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Maria Shriver
Ep 143
Thomas Campbell
Ep 143
Mon, Nov 9, 2009
Ep 142
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Harold Evans
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Andrew Sullivan
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Nicholas Thompson
Ep 139
Mon, Nov 2, 2009