The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 152

Steven D. Levitt

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Dec 05, 2006 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

Steven D. Levitt
Tonight Stephen welcomes economist and co-author of Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything, Steven D. Levitt.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (2)

      • Stephen: …and it brings us to tonight's Word: Honest Injun. That's all these tribes are looking for, real actual Native Americans. (Some of them must have survived) And folks they're turning out to be rarer than a white buffalo born during the Powamu Beansprout Festival. (They use every part of the beansprout) Now I realize that metaphor may not make sense to you Anglos but is does to me. You see, I'm 1/13th Chickasaw. (The great white Hopi) You need proof? [does tomahawk chop] You see if I wasn't a Native American that would be incredibly offensive. (Outside of sports stadium) Anyways, my red brothers speak truth, people who don't belong in a group shouldn't be allowed to enjoy that groups' benefits. No free rides! (Except Trail of Tears) Now why should a tribe include those who aren't truly in the tribe, for that matter, why should America include those that aren't truly Americans? We can take a page from the Indians book here, (Taken everything else) or rather we can take it back because the book was ours to begin with. Depriving people of rights and property because they lack "racial purity" is our game, the Western Europeans. (Cultural monopoly) We are the ones who define racial purity because we're the ones who are racial pure. (Except those filthy Dutch) We have been doing this for hundreds of years. In 15th century Spain if you had a drop of Jewish blood you were Jewish. (Mazel Tov!) In 20th century America if you had a drop of Black blood in you, you were Black. (And had music stolen by Elvis) Well folks, I say it's time to get back to what we're good at, deciding who's not we. So how do we tell if someone is a full red-blooded American? (Bought Christmas presents at Sometimes you have to ask tough questions, like Glen Beck did to Minnesota Representative elect Keith Ellison, who will be the country's first Muslim Congressman. Take a look.

        [Video: Glen Beck: Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies. And I know you're not! I'm not accusing you of being an enemy but that's the way I feel and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way…]

        Stephen: You see, Beck knows Ellison's not the enemy, but he feels like he's the enemy. So who around us to we know is an American but doesn't feel like a red-blooded American? [Beck] Well to find out we need to ask more of these difficult questions of each other. Like, have you ever burned a flag, or attended a same sex marriage? (Or listened to the Dixie Chicks?) If you answered no, you're welcome in our tribe and invited to go on America's vision quest. (Finding a way out of Iraq) But if you answer yes, you'll be placed on a reservation somewhere in the United States but not in America. (Massachusetts) We have to keep America pure for pure American or we'll end up crying just like this guy. [Crying Indian from litter ads] Whose real name was Espera DeCorti, he was a second generation Italian. It's true. (Honest Injun)

        And that's the Word.

      • Stephen Colbert: The truth is contagious... and I haven't washed my hands in days, This is the Colbert Report!

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