The Colbert Report Season 8 Episode 24

Stephen: But to avoid the cuts in defense, someone has to sacrifice, and we all know who that someone should be, and they are the subject of tonight's Word: The 1%. Folks, everybody is talking about it, there is a tiny minority of Americans who could be doing a lot more for our nation. A minority who live a lifestyle the 99% could not imagine. You know who I'm talking about. (The gay Amish?) I'm talking about military veterans. You see, only 1% of Americans served in either Iraq or Afghanistan, (The few, the pround, but mostly the few) now thankfully the super committee is serving the interests of the 99% of us who didn't serve.

[Video: Reporter: Lawmakers of the debt super committee are looking for 1.2 trillion cuts. They've recommended cost saving changes in military health benefits.]

Stephen: Yes, the super committee wants to reduce veterans health benefits known as Tricare. (New name: Don't care) And the super Congress recently recieved a letter supporting those cuts from the bipartisan leaders of the House & Senate Veterans Affairs Committees. They say of veterans quote: "We believe no constituency better understands the challenge America faces, and no consituency is better suited to, again, lead by example by putting country first." And with this letter, Congress is sending our troops a clear message. (Semper FU) That message: That we can take for granted that service members are willing to give up more than the rest of us. (Full metal racket) Now I know, we rich peopel can't give things up, I'm not used to it. I have never given up anything in my life. (Still has his baby teeth) Now folks, don't get me wrong, I know our troops have given up so much already. 10 years, two wars and no one honors thier sacrifice more than I, and I'll prove it. I honor your sacrifice. But here's the thing, once you're back in the States, if you're not continuing to sacrifice, why should i continue honoring you? (Tit for taps)

You see, on the other hand veterans, imaging the pride in every patriots heart when your let us cut parts of your health plan. (Drop and give me dental!) If you let us do that you guys will totally deserve medals for this, well, not medals, brass is expensive, but definitly stickers. And i promise you veterans you will not be sacrificing alone. The plan calls for sacrifice from active service military. So while we're at it, you know those 41,000 troops the President is taking out of Iraq? That's going to be expensive, so I say let's make them buyt thier own plane tickets home. (With layover in Iran?) And while these debt reducing measures may seem harsh, remember Congress has no choice.

[Video: Lindsay Graham: If this commission fails, there's a trigger cutting defense by 600 billion dollars...]

Stephen: And cutting defense spending is out of the question, because it is out giant military maching that creates our veterans and it's clear they're the only one we're willing to sacrifice for our country. (The 1%) And that's the Word.