The Colbert Report

Season 3 Episode 32

Ted Koppel

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Mar 08, 2007 on Comedy Central
out of 10
User Rating
3 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Ted Koppel
Tonight Stephen welcomes the former anchor of Nightline, Ted Koppel

Who was the Episode MVP ?

No results found.
No results found.
No results found.

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (4)

      • Stephen: Iced milk and pickled cucumber before cherry, you're feeling merry. Iced milk and cherry before pickled cucumber, eternal slumber.

      • Stephen: You got to crack a few eggs to make an omelet. That's not a metaphor, I want someone to make me an omelet. This is the Colbert Report!

      • Stephen: Its been two days since the Scooter Libby verdict and the judge still hasn't apologized!

      • Stephen: …which brings us to tonight's Word: Comic Justice. The military scientists during World War II didn't give scrawny Steve Rogers super strength and dexterity so he could use them to question the government, no, they did it so he could beat the Nazis. Eat a knuckle sandwich Adolph! Sure from time to time Cap would spurn government authority, (Hasn't filed taxes since '44) so it makes sense that when the government is trying to limit superhero freedoms, Cap would oppose them. ("First they came for the X-Men…") Now the superhero on the government's side is Iron Man, whose alter ego is Tony Stark, he's a defense contractor, so naturally he sides with the government. (Superhero-Industrial complex) Now, I'm with Tony Stark on this one, and not just because I always root for corporate billionaires. (I love you, Mr. Redstone) No, I'm with Iron Man because Captain America refused to give up a few minor freedoms so the government could protect all of us. As the President said, you're either with us or you're against us. (Pick a side, Wolverine!) That folks, that is the lesson we all have to learn from Cap's death. (Also, tights not good body armor)

        Fighting to protect civil liberties like free speech and privacy isn't just quaint, it's dangerous. That's what killed Captain America. He had to be written out. (Drawn, inked and quartered) But you know, that doesn't' mean we shouldn't have a Captain America, we just need a new one. One more representative of America today. I nominate Alberto Gonzales, he would make a great Cap. (His nemesis: Professor Habeas Corpus) In fact, you know what? We should probably change the color of the uniform to the terror alert levels. Now that Iron Man has won, red, white and blue just seem outdated.

        And that's the Word.

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

    Season 3 Episodes

    See All
    Ep 138
    Walter Kirn
    Ep 137
    Col. Lawrence Wilkerson
    Ep 136
    Craig Venter
    Ep 135
    Richard Berman
    Ep 134
    Craig Newmark
    Ep 133
    Garry Kasparov
    Ep 132
    Bob Drogin
    Ep 131
    Paul Glastris
    Ep 130
    Chris Jordan
    Ep 128
    General Wesley Clark
    Ep 128
    Stephen Colbert
    Ep 127
    George Saunders
    Ep 126
    John Kao
    Ep 125
    Jim Lovell
    Ep 124
    John Mearsheimer
    Ep 123
    Charlie Savage
    Ep 122
    David Schwartz
    Ep 121
    Tony Bennett
    Ep 120
    John Grisham
    Ep 119
    Thomas Friedman
    Ep 118
    Jeffrey Toobin
    Ep 117
    Naomi Wolf
    Ep 116
    Susan Sarandon
    Ep 115
    Ed Begley Jr
    Ep 114
    Joel Klein
    Ep 113
    Garrison Keillor