The Colbert Report

Season 5 Episode 118

The Flaming Lips

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Sep 16, 2009 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

Tonight Stephen welcomes musical group The Flaming Lips.
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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


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    • QUOTES (4)

      • Stephen: Tonight: I take an in depth look at education. This time I might make it all the way to the letter C. Then: An animal is named after a celebrity who's not me. Even more reason to hunt it to extinction. And The Flaming Lips are here. Unfortunately their two story plush hippo didn't get through security. Don't' pee on my leg and tell me it's raining. Pee on my leg and tell me you love me. This is the Colbert Report.

      • Stephen Colbert: Then, Tucker revealed definitive proof that Muslims are getting a free ride.
        Tucker Carlson (Fox News video clip from Sept. 4th): Out of 307 million Americans, 1.8 million identify themselves as Muslim American. That's less than 1% of the population. And yet for the past two decades, Muslims have had considerable influence over textbook content.
        Stephen Colbert: Shameful! Everyone knows you listen to people based on their proportion in the population. For example, Tucker Carlson is Episcopalian. With 2.4 million Episcopalian Americans they are eight tenths of one percent of the population. Which means out of Tucker's 60 minute special you should watch (pretends to use a calculator prop) ... 28 seconds.

      • Stephen Colbert: Next subject, textbooks. Last week CNN correspondent ... I'm sorry, MSNBC anchor..., I'm sorry, FOX News sock monkey Tucker Carlson presented his one hour special report, "Do you know what textbooks your children are really reading?" Tucker revealed what's wrong with liberal textbooks with National Review contributor Gilbert Sule.
        Gilbert Sule (off screen voice over video clip of assumed islamic terrorists): In almost all textbooks, terrorism is not identified as Islamic!
        Stephen Colbert: Terrorism is not identified as Islamic? Then how will our children learn about the Muslims long fight for Irish independence? I believe the IRA's headquarter in Dublin is Paddy O'Sama's pub.

      • Stephen Colbert: Time for an 'I's On Edjukashun' pop quiz. What's the most effective way to indoctrinate your children?
        A. Repetition
        B. Barack Obama's a socialist
        C. Barack Obama's a socialist
        D. Barack Obama's a socialist
        For the answer, don't turn to the end of the book, just back to the McCarthy era.

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