Stephen: Tonight: I'm in Vancouver for the 2010 Olympic Games. They only have two weeks, how are they going to fit in 2,010 games? Then: I Better Know Vancouver, without the help of marijuana, but thank you to everyone I've met here. It's eleven thirty at night and the sun is still shining. They wonder why there's no snow here. This is the Colbert Report!
Stephen: Now Ed, you represented the United States Olympic Committee right?
Ed Colbert: Yes, for over 10 years and I've never lost a case.
Stephen: Great. So what can't I say in my coverage of the Winter Olym….[Technical difficulties screen pops up] I'm sorry. What the Hell just happened?
Ed: Stephen, you just said the "O" word. NBC paid 820 million dollars for the exclusive rights to say Olympic coverage.
Stephen: What would have happened if I said it?
Ed: If I were their lawyer I'd sue you.
Ed: Yes. And I also wouldn't say Winter Games or Vancouver 2010 either.
Stephen: What if I just show the Olympic rings.
Ed: I'd sue you. In fact, I recommend the network pixelate those right now.
Stephen: Well, what if it was just five interlocking triangles?
Ed: I'd sue you.
Stephen: Well, what if I just laid the rings on edgewise so they just look like five line?
Ed: Well, unfortunately you just told me they were rings, so I'd sue you.
Stephen: Okay, so I can't say Olympics or Vancouver or Winter or show geometric shapes of any size or color. What if I tried something like this? [Video: The Colbert Report Exclusive Vancouverage of the 2010 Quadrennial Cold Weather Athletic Competition: Defeat the World! Brought to you by verizon wireless: They paid for our trip.] Well?
Ed: I'd sue you.
Ed: But you'd win.
Better Know a Rider: Vancouver South. MP Ujjal Dosanjh.
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