The Colbert Report

Season 4 Episode 141

Wilco

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Oct 30, 2008 on Comedy Central
8.2
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Tonight Stephen welcomes the band Wilco.

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      • Stephen: Tonight: Barack Obama gets a half hour on TV. Big deal, I've done 470 of these things. Where's my Presidency!? Then: I predict the winner of the election. Bob Barr, you might want to switch over to Letterman. And rock band Wilco is here, their real fans will listen to the interview on vinyl. Hey kids, if you need a last minute costume idea you can always go door to door as a McCain campaigner. This is the Colbert Report!

      • Stephen: A wag of my finger to Switzerland. According to a recent treatise commissioned by the Swiss Parliament, it is morally wrong to humiliate a plant or tamper with its dignity including: "…the decapitation of wildflowers at the roadside without rational reason." Well I've got a rational reason for decapitating wildflowers: They were blocking by view of the dirt. It was all published in the actual paper: The Dignity of Living Beings with regard to Plants, Moral Consideration of Plants for their Own Sake. Evidentially, the Swiss Parliament overlooked the number of trees that were humiliated by becoming pages for this study. Shame on you, Switzerland. Plants do not have dignity, if they did, hibiscus would put some damn pants on! Come on! No one needs to see your stamen! What's next, equal rights for inanimate objects? I'm sorry, but I am not building a separate restroom for my stapler.

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