The Colbert Report

Season 5 Episode 99

Zev Chafets

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Jul 23, 2009 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

Zev Chafets
Tonight Stephen welcomes social critic and author of Cooperstown Confidential: Heroes, Rogues, and the Inside Story of the Baseball Hall of Fame, Zev Chafets.
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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (3)

      • Stephen: Evidently folks, evidently, Bill Gates is devising a plan to cool the warm water on the ocean surface that fuels oncoming hurricanes. We can't let Bill Gates control the weather matter what weather he tries for, there is a good chance everything will freeze.

      • Zev Chafets: The Hall has a rule, it's called Rule 5, I don't know why because there's no rule 1 through 4, that says…
        Stephen: Really? I like that.
        Zev: That's a discovery, right?
        Stephen: They're not kowtowing to big math.

      • Stephen: So what are the thing that happened in the past that these greats did that were not held to the same standards?
        Zev Chafets: Well ballplayers have always used steroids and substances that they could use
        Stephen: What substances? There weren't substances back then.
        Zev: Oh yes. In 1889 a pitcher who's in the Hall of Fame ingested monkey testosterone to improve his game.
        Stephen: In 1889 he ingested monkey testosterone? Willingly? Or was this the monkey's idea? There were a lot of organ grinders back then, monkeys could get on the lam, monkeys could get loose. What did he hope to do with monkey testosterone and where can I get some?
        Zev: Well he hoped to improve his pitching, which he actually did because he won the game that he pitched after taking the monkey testosterone.
        Stephen: Is that common?
        Zev: You know, he's remembered for it.
        Stephen: Oh yes, he'll be remembered for little else now.

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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