The Colbert Report

Season 3 Episode 25

Zev Chafets

0
Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Feb 26, 2007 on Comedy Central
8.5
out of 10
User Rating
9 votes
0

EPISODE REVIEWS
By TV.com Users

Episode Summary

EDIT
Zev Chafets
AIRED:
Tonight Stephen welcomes journalist, former press secretary for Menachem Begin and author of A Match Made in Heaven: American Jews, Christian Zionists, and One Man’s Exploration of the Weird and Wonderful Judeo-Evangelical Alliance, Zev Chafets.
Monday
No results found.
Tuesday
No results found.
Wednesday
No results found.
SUBMIT REVIEW

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

    FILTER BY TYPE

    • TRIVIA (2)

    • QUOTES (4)

      • Stephen: We should not be rewarding portrayals of heroin addicted grandpas. Seniors have enough trouble affording drugs as it is.

      • Stephen: Actresses, either your dress is strapless or it's not, get off the fence! We're at war!

      • Stephen: The award for the best adaptation of the truth goes to...This is the Colbert Report!

      • Stephen: A turn of events which brings us to tonight's Word: Success. The White House responded to the British pullout as quote: "President Bush sees this as a sign of success…" And the Vice President couldn't agree more.

        [Video: Dick Cheney: What I see is an affirmation of the fact that parts of Iraq where things are going pretty well…"]

        Stephen: And what reasons is there to think he's lying? (Because his lips are moving?) Of course the British, folks, the British are humble, they're downplaying the triumph saying the withdrawal is simply because the British military is approaching quote: "operational failure." Typical British reserve, it's not in their nature to brag, nobody does a touchdown dance at a soccer game. (Until the riot's over) In fact the British as so modest that their commander in Basra said: "When I cam up here….I was looking for a hundred percent solution. But this is Iraq…so a sixty percent solution is good enough for me." And sixty percent has always been good enough for our President. (A gentleman's D-minus) Now of course the "How many more American soldiers have to die for a failed policy" huggers out there are going to say that if a British pullout means we're winning, why can't we pullout to? Well there's a big difference. (Tony Blair cares about the future of his party)

        Whenever British troops pull out of a country, democracy flourishes. Look no farther than the American Revolution. We didn't have a democracy until the redcoats high tailed it out of here. (They fled as liberators) Same thing in India, once the British left India became the world's largest democracy. (Declaration of Bindi-Pendence) But folks, when America pulls out of a country it's a disaster. Remember what happened in Vietnam. (Somebody should have) They only way this could be a bigger sign of success is if more allies pulled out. (Olly-olly-ally-free!) I'm looking at you Moldova! We appreciate your troop commitment of twelve soldiers, (Came in a Dodge Caravan) but you are making us look like we can't fight our own battles without twelve Moldovans. Same goes for Estonia, Mongolia, Bosnia-Herzegovina and El Salvador you can all go. Because back in 2003 when we were building international support for this war success meant gathering a coalition of the willing, and England was the first onboard. But four years later England is pulling out so success must mean something else. (A coalition of the leaving)

        And that's the Word.

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

    Season 3 Episodes

    See All
    Ep 138
    Walter Kirn
    Ep 137
    Col. Lawrence Wilkerson
    Ep 136
    Craig Venter
    Ep 135
    Richard Berman
    Ep 134
    Craig Newmark
    Ep 133
    Garry Kasparov
    Ep 132
    Bob Drogin
    Ep 131
    Paul Glastris
    Ep 130
    Chris Jordan
    Ep 128
    General Wesley Clark
    Ep 128
    Stephen Colbert
    Ep 127
    George Saunders
    Ep 126
    John Kao
    Ep 125
    Jim Lovell
    Ep 124
    John Mearsheimer
    Ep 123
    Charlie Savage
    Ep 122
    David Schwartz
    Ep 121
    Tony Bennett
    Ep 120
    John Grisham
    Ep 119
    Thomas Friedman
    Ep 118
    Jeffrey Toobin
    Ep 117
    Naomi Wolf
    Ep 116
    Susan Sarandon
    Ep 115
    Ed Begley Jr
    Ep 114
    Joel Klein
    Ep 113
    Garrison Keillor
    more
    More
    Less