The Cosby Show

Season 5 Episode 9

How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall?

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Dec 01, 1988 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • (After Clair sends Vanessa and friends upstairs to change out of their revealing outfits from their just as revealing performance of the Locomotion)
      Clair: Did you see Miss Kara with that bra on ON TOP of the leotard? Tell me!
      Cliff: Did I see it? I...
      Clair: We have made a mistake! We have planted roses, but we keep getting these weeds! Sondra's in the wilderness, Denise is in the jungle, and she's on the Locomotion! (Yells upstairs) You better take that wall paint off your faces! Before the mothers come in here and see me. They'll be blaming me!!!!
      Cliff: Yeah, now let's...
      Clair: Running around here dressed in NOTHING!!! Jumping around like they just hopped off the hot seat! Suppose some fool comes along, sees that, takes them seriously, Vanessa could end up on a stage somewhere across the country in a smoke-filled cafe, singing and dancing, and gyrating like that. And I won't be around to take the tissues out then. I am not!
      Cliff: No, no. See...
      Clair: What do they know? WHAT do they know?!!! "Easy as doing your ABC's" (Yells upstairs again), MISS 1400 ON THE SATs!!! I GOT YOUR LOCOMOTION DOWN HERE IN THE LIVING ROOM WITH A SCIENCE BOOK!
      Cliff: Right!
      Cliff: That's right!
      Clair: I can see it now! Sittin' in a Hollywood swimming pool with a remote phone in her hand calling me up (imitating snobby girl) "Hi, Mom, Babe! Let's do lunch!" I will not HAVE IT!!! (Storms into the kitchen)
      Cliff: (Yells upstairs) And that goes for me, too!!!

    • Rudy: I thought they were HOT!!!
      Clair: Maybe you should go up to your room and COOL OFF!!!
      Rudy: Aw, man!!!
      Kara: Mrs. Huxtable, is there something wrong?
      Clair: I don't know who you think you are, but you are not the people who just came down here in my living room, half-dressed, flinging parts from one end to the other!
      Cliff: Are my eyes deceiving me? Aren't you all swollen in areas where you weren't swollen before?
      Clair: Thank you. Because I definitely detect some growth! (approaches Vanessa and removes a large wad of tissues from top portion of her outfit )
      Vanessa: MOM!!! That's part of our outfits!!!
      Clair: The only part of your clothing that you will be allowed to stuff things into will be your pockets. Now you take this and go upstairs and put some CLOTHES ON!!! (To Kara and Janet) Now I'm not your mother, but I feel safe in saying I speak for them when I say go cover yourselves IMMEDIATELY!
      Kara and Janet: Yes, Mrs. Huxtable. (The girls go upstairs)
      Vanessa: (Muttering) C'mon guys. You know I finally thought they were open enough to understand I'm not a child anymore!
      Cliff: (Yells upstairs) AND DON'T PUT THOSE TISSUES BACK IN THE BOX!!!

  • Notes

  • Allusions

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