The Cosby Show

Season 5 Episode 9

How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall?

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Dec 01, 1988 on NBC



  • Quotes

    • (After Clair sends Vanessa and friends upstairs to change out of their revealing outfits from their just as revealing performance of the Locomotion)
      Clair: Did you see Miss Kara with that bra on ON TOP of the leotard? Tell me!
      Cliff: Did I see it? I...
      Clair: We have made a mistake! We have planted roses, but we keep getting these weeds! Sondra's in the wilderness, Denise is in the jungle, and she's on the Locomotion! (Yells upstairs) You better take that wall paint off your faces! Before the mothers come in here and see me. They'll be blaming me!!!!
      Cliff: Yeah, now let's...
      Clair: Running around here dressed in NOTHING!!! Jumping around like they just hopped off the hot seat! Suppose some fool comes along, sees that, takes them seriously, Vanessa could end up on a stage somewhere across the country in a smoke-filled cafe, singing and dancing, and gyrating like that. And I won't be around to take the tissues out then. I am not!
      Cliff: No, no. See...
      Clair: What do they know? WHAT do they know?!!! "Easy as doing your ABC's" (Yells upstairs again), MISS 1400 ON THE SATs!!! I GOT YOUR LOCOMOTION DOWN HERE IN THE LIVING ROOM WITH A SCIENCE BOOK!
      Cliff: Right!
      Cliff: That's right!
      Clair: I can see it now! Sittin' in a Hollywood swimming pool with a remote phone in her hand calling me up (imitating snobby girl) "Hi, Mom, Babe! Let's do lunch!" I will not HAVE IT!!! (Storms into the kitchen)
      Cliff: (Yells upstairs) And that goes for me, too!!!