Jon Stewart: I see you as a kid as a paste-eater.
Adam Sandler: I had friends who did that. I was more the guy, they put the cookie out, spit on it, and I'd eat it.
Jon Stewart: Was that more a financial situation or was that purely a courage situation?
Adam Sandler: If it came at me with a nickel and I'd say "Let's get a dime in there and I'll suck that thing down."
talking about Adam's goatee
Jon Stewart: Why couldn't they in the film, 'cause I'm assuming it's a Sandler goes on big budget. It's a big budget. Who's in the film with you?
Adam Sandler: You've been there with me.
Jon Stewart: I've been with you. It's a tremendous experience.
Adam Sandler: You know the money...
Jon Stewart: "Big Daddy" I'm still getting the residuals by the way.
Adam Sandler: Enjoy that.
Jon Stewart: Thank you for the health insurance.
Adam Sandler: My pleasure.
Jon Stewart: Why don't they glue one on and then you can go back to your life, uh smooth-faced with your wife and your child?
Adam Sandler: This was a decision I made, uh, 'cause you gotta glue that stuff. I don't like glue. I've hated glue my whole life. When my teachers in school would say, "You gotta glue today," I'd go "Aw, dammit".
(referring to the new Harry Potter ending being posted on the internet)
John Oliver: Yes, these children are blissfully unaware that Harry Potter was decapitated by Ron, who turned out to be Voldemort's evil robot son!
(referring to Farfour's comments about hating Jews)
Jon Stewart: He looks like Mickey Mouse, but he sounds like Walt Disney.
Moment of Zen: A clip from the movie Jesus Camp with a woman proclaiming that warlocks are enemies of God & thus, Harry Potter should be put to death.
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