The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Season 16 Episode 45

Billy Crystal

Aired Weekdays 11:00 PM Apr 04, 2011 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

Billy Crystal
- Obama's Record On Transparency Has Gotten So Weird That Even The Meeting In Which He Received A Transparency Award Was Held Behind Closed Doors
- Transocean, The Company Responsible For Biggest Oil Spill In U.S. History Gives Out Bonuses For "Best Year In Safety"
- Aasif Mandvi ("Who Killed 'The Kennedys' Miniseries)

Comedian Billy Crystal talks about his upcoming sketch on the HBO comedy show Funny Or Die.moreless

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (2)

      • Jon Stewart: Bonusing the executives responsible for the worst oil spill in US history? I guess it finally explains Transocean's motto ... Pobody's Nerfect. Um, yeah. Well, I guess the American people are getting used to this; whenever these monster corporations fail, their executives always seem to find a way to justify their giant bonuses. So what are Transocean's executives patting themselves on the back for this year? Overseas clientele, better customer service, what?
        Reporter: (clip) Transocean calls 2010, quote "the best year in safety performance in the company's history." The company bases that, apparently, on what it describes as its "exemplary statistical safety record as measured by our total recordable incident rate."
        Jon Stewart: Okay, but you know that's just f***ing crazy. That, that's just cra-- you gave yourselves a safety bonus because statistically, the Deepwater Horizon explosion, killing 11 people, pumping 200 million gallons of oil into the Gulf Coast, counts as same as "Bob cut his hand on a bolt." It's just one incident. You know, that reminds me of one of the worst company Christmas cards I've ever seen. Uh, I believe it was, "Merry Christmas Hindenburg Zeppelin associates, congratulations on 364 incident-free days of flying."

      • Jon Stewart: (referring to Barack Obama) See, when you were running for the White House, you wanted to look at what the White House was hiding. Now you live in the White House, and you want everyone to stop being so f***ing nosy! When you don't live in the White House, sunlight's the best disinfectant; when you live in the White House, disinfectant stings.

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    Season 16 Episodes

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    Tony Bennett
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    Ep 122
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    Ep 119
    Mitch Daniels
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    Ron Suskind
    Ep 117
    Caroline Kennedy
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    Ep 115
    Jim Lehrer
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    Admiral Mike Mullen
    Ep 113
    Marion Cotillard
    Ep 112
    Dr. Sanjay Gupta
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    Anne Hathaway
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    Michael Steele
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    Ep 107
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    Ep 105
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    Ep 100
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    Ep 99
    Freida Pinto