Jon Stewart: (to Colin Powell) Is it true that Kim Jong Il could fit in your pocket?
Jon Stewart: You're here to fire me, aren't you?
Colin Powell: Yes.
(about language problems with Bush and Blair)
Jon Stewart: They both speak English.
Rob Corddry: They both speak a version of English, Jon.
Jon Stewart: In practical terms Mr Prime Minister, what are you looking for?
Tony Blair: In respect to the Africa Commission Report, we set out a figure of, uh, the doubling of aid in the 25 billion uh, dollars extra is effectively what that would mean.
Jon Stewart: BOOM!! 25 Billion. The call is out. Mr President, what do you got?
President Bush: I'm pleased to announce the United States will provide approvimately 674 Million Dollars.
(Laughter in Audience of Daily Show)
(Jon scribbles something on some paper.)
Jon Stewart: Okayy, uh, 674 million. Not only is that less, it's less than 3% of what Blair was looking for. It will also be paid out in increments of $6.74 a year for over 100 million years.
Jon Stewart: (referring to George W. Bush) Does he know who I am?
Colin Powell: (grabs Jon Stewart's hand) Jon... No.
"But I tell 'ya the real excitement in the audience tonight... ex-Secretary of the State, General Colin Powell's gonna be joining us here tonight. He's gonna be out here on this program. Uhhh, Four Star General, Secretary of the State. Truely one of the most important interviews that I think I'll ever do, uhh, and I hope to do it poorly, and I will do it poorly. I hope to disappoint all of you." - Jon Stewart
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