John Ashcroft

Season 11, Episode 133, Aired
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Episode Summary

Tonight fromer U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft.
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    • Notes

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      • Moment of Zen: CNN declaring Saddam's sons are dead. Edit

    • Quotes

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      • The Seat of Heat

        Jon Stewart: Obviously you're not a betting man, but the question is 'Will you make me this wager?': You're from Missouri, I'm from New York. If the St. Louis Cardinals win tonight, I will send you a new Daily Show T-shirt. But, if the New York Mets win… (guests cheer) … if the New York Mets win, I get to go to heaven.
        John Ashcroft: You know, my dad was a preacher, he said he was in sales, not in management. But I tell you what, if the New York Mets win, we'll let you move to St. Louis, and you'll think you went to heaven. Edit
      • Rob Riggle: (to Shirin Sinnar) So you would like to see us all die in a terrorist attack? Shirin Sinnar: Its not going to... Rob Riggle: (Makes explosion noises) AHHHH! AHHHH! Dont look at it! It's so bright daddy! What is it? Don't look at it! Keep your eyes down! (Makes another explosion noise) Edit

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