The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Season 11 Episode 83

Kevin Spacey

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Aired Weekdays 11:00 PM Jun 29, 2006 on Comedy Central
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Kevin Spacey
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TONIGHT: Actor and one of the stars of the movie Superman Returns, Kevin Spacey!

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      • Lewis Black: Did you know some people can't handle the truth? Like Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men. Or Tom Cruise in real life. But the far scarier people are the ones who can handle it, but choose not to. Like Senator James Inhoffe whose picked a very hot top to deny the existence of these days, global warming.

        [Video: David Asman: Here's Time magazine: Be worried. Be very worried. No doubt that there's global warming, catastrophic global warming and no doubt that it's man made.
        James Imhoffe: It's a hoax.
        Asman: A total hoax?
        Imhoffe: Total hoax. It's an outrageous lie and they know it.
        Asman: (voiceover) Senator James Imhoffe is chairman of the Environment and Public Works Committee.]

        Lewis Black: That guy is in charge of the Environment and Public Works? That's gotta be a hoax! Imhoffe's flying the face of a new report by dozens of leading scientists concluding Earth is at its hottest temperature in 2000 years. Now wait, 2000 years? Who was around 2000 years ago to feel how hot it was? Oh yeah! That must explain what he said in Matthew 3:13: Go ye and get me an ice pop. For yea, I am schvitzing like a Pharisee! Fortunately some Senators have a firmer grasp on reality; one of them is not Rick Santorum! Who, after three years, still won't accept that Saddam Hussein had no weapons of mass destruction.

        [Video: Rick Santorum: This report clearly shows there were in fact a large number of weapons, at least five hundred, that have been discovered today and that those weapons contained Sarin and Mustard gas…]

        Lewis Black: Now that assertion prompted this exchange between Santorum and Alan Colmes. Now if you don't recognize him, he's the one usually upstaged by the ampersand.

        [Video: Alan Colmes: Jim Angle, who reported this for Fox News, quotes a Defense official that these were pre-1991 weapons that could not have been fired as designed because they'd already been degraded…
        Santorum: Well I'd like to know who that Defense Department spokesperson is. The fact of the matter is I'll wait and see what the actual Defense Department formally says…]

        Lewis Black: The actual Defense Department, as opposed to the imaginary Defense Department, which sits on Santorum's shoulder whispering sweet nothings into his head! And in case you thought Santorum wasn't disrespectful enough of U.S. intelligence…

        [Video: Santorum: Yeah in fact I'll show you the classified documents right here…]

        Lewis Black: Whaaa? You can't see this highly classified document? Here, I'll read it to you! As for the actual Defense Department, they're in a bit of denial themselves about homosexuality, which they're still classifying as a mental disorder. Now, buy the way, that's something mental health professionals stop doing back in the 60's, when the Pentagon was still just an itty bitty triangle. You know what? I don't care what this administration thinks of gays! Right now, our military cannot afford to turn anyone away. We need boots on the ground! And if some of those boots happen to be Prada, fabulous!

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