Jon Stewart: Basically, though, the announcement today, you have decided whether or not to announce...
Stephen Colbert: ...that I, Stephen Colbert, am running for President in South Carolina.
Jon Stewart: Say that last part again.
Stephen Colbert: In South Carolina, the greatest State in America. Go Camecocks and/or Clemson Tigers.
Jon Stewart: You're just going to run in South Carolina? What about the rest of the country?
Stephen Colbert: Hold on Mount Rushme. I didn't even say I'm running yet. I mean, should I?
[Stephen turns to the audience as they applaud]
Jon Stewart: Not to be devil's advocate...what qualifies you?
Stephen Colbert: I know, I know Jon. Who would have thought that the son of a poor Appalachian turd miner, the grandson of a goat ball licker, born in the town of Could-Be-President, could be President of the United States? Only in America.
Moment of Zen: Clip of The Daily Show's talent contest starring Justin who roller skates onto the stage wearing only his underwear and playing the song Tequila on his trumpet.
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