Lewis Black: Technology used to be about making life easier, now it's about making it a lot creepier. Take Google. At first it was nothing more than a fun way to stalk your ex-girlfriend. Next, they built a program that lets you zoom in from Heaven for a God's eye view of the dog crap in your back yard. But now the worldwide leader in freaking people out is upping the ante with Google Street View, a program offering 360 degree street level pictures of your neighborhood. It's easy to use, just log onto Google and click "I'm Feeling Violated." Savvy computer users are already taking advantage of Google Street View by finding embarrassing shots of people who didn't know they were being photographed! Apparently Big Brother is watching, but only because he's bored at work. It's invasive, but not as bad as Google's next project: Your Secret Shame. How did they know! But Google hasn't cornered the market on creepiness. Regal Theaters is trying out a new device that let's movie goers alert the manager if someone is talking. Ratting out your seatmate. Finally, a sleazy, anonymous thing you can do in a dark theater! Chris Cuomo sees the device's potential.
[Video: Chris Cuomo: You don't want to talk to the parent about their kid, you don't want to go up the big, scary guy who's with the girl making all the noise…]
Lewis: Yeah, so instead you make this guy [teenage usher] do it. That's going to be more entertaining that the movie anyway. And by the way, if you want to know what a bunch of annoying people ruining your day sounds like, the GMA team was happy to demonstrate.
[Video: Chris Cuomo: Yesterday we were in the theater and the doors weren't closed so sometime there's something you want to tell.
Robin Roberts: You couldn't get up and close the door yourself?
Diane Sawyer: And how do you get to go to the movies during the week?]
Lewis: Dammit! Where's the button that shuts you people up!? But there are some invasions of privacy I'm fine with. MySpace is giving law enforcement officials information about registered sex offenders using the site. And more power to them. Even if they still sometime snag a more innocent user.[picture of Black's Myspace page] What!? Young Weiner Lover!? I breed Dachshunds!
Jon Stewart (about the Republican candidates not supporting gays in the military): Apparently the only thing worse for these candidates than another terrorist attack would be a gay hero stopping it.
Jon Stewart: Candidates, start your platitudes.
Mike Huckabee (on video): In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.
Jon Stewart: Alright, you have my attention.
Moment of Zen: A clip of House minority leader John Boehner saying, "When we talk about the standard here we all know that bringing dishonor on this house is a standard that all of us attempt to meet."
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