Jon Stewart: This [Congressional hearings] seems like an incredible waste of time and money unless there was some way to tie it to the greatest threat facing our nation today…
(Shows Hearing Clip featuring Rep. Harman)
Rep. Jane Harman: Islamic militants are suspected of using Second Life, the internet virtual world, to hunt for recruits and mimic real-life terrorism.
Jon Stewart: I don't believe you! Look, nobody doubts that terrorists use the internet but I don't think Osama Bin Laden is in the basement of his mom's cave creating jihad-friendly Second Life avatars.
Jon Stewart: Virtual world hearings! It's official. Congress has given up on the actual world. They're holding hearings on worlds that don't really exist. The topic of the hearing was a game called Second Life. It's an online game for people who don't have a first one.
Jon Stewart: This whole spectacle completely denigrates the noble tradition of the Olympic torch journey which, by the way, was begun in 1936 by, oh this is interesting, Adolf Hitler.
(about Chinese/Tibetan conflict)
Jon Stewart: The Dalai Llama will crush you!
Jon Stewart: Someone, before the show, handed me this. It appears to be some type of Jewish top with some kinds of gibberish on the sides of it. And you spin it, the kids spin it. And, when it lands, they all go, "Yeah." I can't believe this couldn't compete with Christmas. It's so much fun. I can't believe someone would choose Santa Claus over this. (Shows Stewart spinning dreidal.)
Moment of Zen: A Congressional Representative trying to make a World of Warcraft joke at the Second Life hearings.
When mocking French patrolmen on rollerblades, Stewart segues into a clip, featuring people at a roller derby. This clip is from the Olivia Newton John film Xanadu.
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