Newt Gingrich: The last guy to announce on your show, came in fourth.
(Jon bursts into laughter)
Newt Gingrich: I know it sounds radical..bold..daring. But if you could save 50-100,000 American lives a year, why not try it?
Jon Stewart: Here's why...
(Newt bursts into laughter)
Jon Stewart: (to Newt Gingrich) What makes you think Ed Helms isn't an African-American?
Stephen Colbert: The Vatican - the city that never sins.
Jon Stewart: Ed, even if Jackson is found innocent though, is there really any way for him to recover?
Ed Helms: Well, ultimately Jon, if Jacko wants to avoid further flack-o from the media pack-o, he's simply going to have to stop having young boys in the sack-o. And also, make sure there's no touching of his... balls.
Ed Helms: I'm sure somewhere Jackson is thinking, Hey, O.J. killed two people and went free; now they're gonna put me away just for a couple teenage reach-arounds?
Where's the justice, Jon?
Ed Helms: Jon, I'm outside the hospital where it has been reported that... that's right, Jon, Jacko had an attack-o in his back-o.
Jon Stewart: That's very clever.
Ed Helms: I understand he's filled his hospital room with personal bricko-bracko.... Took it too far.
Jon Stewart: "I don't know how the Aussies beat up hotel employees for not providing telecommunication service where they're from, but here in the Big Apple, it's a knee to the groin."
Tonight's Moment of Zen was a clip of Michael Jackson supporters outside the court building.
Newt Gingrich previously appeared on The Daily Show on 6/10/2003.
Tonight's ridiculous title for a correspondant was for Ed Helms - "Senior Jackologist".
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