The Day Today

Season 1 Episode 2

Big Report

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Aired Wednesday 9:00 PM Jan 26, 1994 on BBC Two
9.1
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Episode Summary

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Big Report
AIRED:
Alan Partridge goes to the races. Speak Your Brains looks at the Civil Service. Ilegal dentists under bridges. Don't forget, The Pool - a day in the life of a swimming pool" andit's The Day Today special, "Camfam". It's the Hall family of Lincoln who've agreed to have cameras implanted into their faces to give us a unique view of British family life.moreless

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Rebecca Front

    Rebecca Front

    Valerie Sinatra, Barbara Wintergreen, Rosy May & various

    Doon MacKichan

    Doon MacKichan

    Various

    Chris Morris

    Chris Morris

    Himself & various

    Steve Coogan

    Steve Coogan

    Alan Partridge & various

    David Schneider

    David Schneider

    Brant, Sylvester Stewart & various

    Patrick Marber

    Patrick Marber

    Peter O'Hanarha-hanrahan / Jaques-"Jaques" Liverot / Chapman Baxter & various

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (7)

      • Morris: And just time for a quick look at tomorrow's headlines. 'Arafat ablaze in kerosene oyster hell', that's in the Telegraph, Today go with 'Peter Collins is not a man', the Catholic Herald, 'Eating turkey at Christmas is like nailing an egg to the cross says bishop' and the New Zealand Prendegast, 'Russia elects cobweb'.

      • Rosie May: Enviromation from me, Rosie May. The vast arm protruding from the South Pole is continuing to grow. All fingers on the hand have now fully emerged, along with sections of the wrist. An international conference will be held in the spring to discuss the arm, now over a mile in height. Another pasta slick has washed up in Devon, threatening gulls, terns and starfish. These birds were some of over a thousand found drenched in linguini on a beach near Exmouth today. Several basking sharks are also believed to have become clogged up. I'm Rosie May and I'm sitting on your sphere.

      • Morris: The American actor Marlon Brando has been sold today in an auction at Sotheby's. Brando, who starred in films like 'Apocalypse Now' and 'Superman', was part of a collection of international works of art which attracted interest from all over the world. He was sold in the large wooden chair he has occupied for the last three years to the Vatican, at just under the expected price of two and a quarter million dollars. It's believed he will be installed in St Peter's later next month.

      • Partridge: Diabetic Charlie 3-1 favourite, Two Headed Sex Beast 4-1, and at 20-1 Mrs Boothroyd's Holiday Dancer. All the rest, 50-1 bar. That's all for now, join us again later for the race. Back to you Chris in the studio.
        Morris: Alan, have you got a tip for us?
        Partridge: I did have a tip - I was going to tip Union's Lad, but his horsebox was hit by a Volvo on the M3. Terrible mess, apparently he's dead. So bad luck there. Back to you, Chris.

      • Partridge [longshot of him at a racetrack, surrounded by people]: Hi, Chris. I'm Alan Partridge. Horses - love 'em or hate 'em, from Mr Ed to Silver, that's the Lone Ranger's horse, they're all here mingling with officials. [Notices someone next to him waving at the camera] Don't do that, please. It's the 6.30 Queen Henry stakes, which is generally regarded as the litmus test for Derby form. Jockey folklore says that if you cock up the Queen Henry, you might as well ride the Derby on a cow. Which of course would be a complete waste of time. Let's have a look at the betting, the going today of course moist to tricky...

      • Haye: What an aging patient called Mr Major's government needed today was a shot in the arm. What it actually received was a bullet in the throat. I'm joined now by the Tory chairman for resignation issues, Mr Austen Straker.

      • Morris: Portillo's teeth removed to boost pound, exploded cardinal preaches sermon from fish tank, and where now for man raised by puffins?

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