The Day Today

Season 1 Episode 6

Factgasm

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Aired Wednesday 9:00 PM Feb 23, 1994 on BBC Two
8.7
out of 10
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Episode Summary

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Factgasm
AIRED:
Buckingham Palace cost savings. Stalled train turns to cannibalism. Self help group buy newspapers. Bill Clinton machine-gunning 400 buffalo. Handing out small parcels of plutonium waste to schoolchildren and the world learned that Cliff Richard was pregnant.

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Rebecca Front

    Rebecca Front

    Valerie Sinatra, Barbara Wintergreen, Rosy May & various

    Doon MacKichan

    Doon MacKichan

    Various

    Chris Morris

    Chris Morris

    Himself & various

    Steve Coogan

    Steve Coogan

    Alan Partridge & various

    David Schneider

    David Schneider

    Brant, Sylvester Stewart & various

    Patrick Marber

    Patrick Marber

    Peter O'Hanarha-hanrahan / Jaques-"Jaques" Liverot / Chapman Baxter & various

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (6)

      • Morris: And just time for a quick look at tomorrow's, er... the Independent, 'Bank of England recovers from swollen chairman unusualness', the Telegraph go with 'Simon Rattle lost in cress', the Daily Mail pretty keen on 'Lassoed bat wins Booker', they devote four pages to that, the Daily Mirror rather upset, 'Fleetwood Mac buried in dog avalanche' and Today ride with 'Old woman killed by little glass planet', that's a story there by Andrew Penman. Due to a printing error tomorrow's Guardian is full of water. That's it, that's The Day Today on the day the world learned that Cliff Richard is pregnant. Good night.

      • Russian Reporter: Hello, Chris. Here in Moscow, it's Russia's chronic nuclear waste problem that's dominating the news live this hour. The latest plan is to hand out small parcels of plutonium waste to schoolchildren. Nuclear experts visit schools and the children are taught songs celebrating the efficiency of atomic power.

      • Rosie May: Enviromation from me, Rosie May. The war raging between two nations of crabs in the Bay of Biscay has claimed more human lives. Last night, a Portugese trawler was dragged underwater by the turbulence of a massive battle between over 400 million crabs fighting for territory on the ocean floor. Blinking! In England, over 700 million hours a year are spent blinking. That's why a Leeds firm has built a special light which switches itself off for the duration of each blink. The device is also triggered by other activities which don't require light, such as sleeping and breathing. I'm Rosie May and the world is at my teat.

      • Morris: Buckingham Palace has announced that over 40 members of royal staff have been destroyed to save money. The 43 workers learned of their fate after church on Sunday. They met the Queen and were told they would be slaughtered with scythes. That evening, they were herded into a Sandringham attic and culled in less than ten minutes. It's not known who conducted the killings, but Princess Margaret is believed to have been involved. She was overheard yesterday saying 'You should have seen the looks on their faces: I laughed and laughed and laughed'.

      • Morris: The headlines tonight - fist-headed man destroys church, car drives past window in town and Leicester man wins right to eat sister. Now fact me 'til I fart!

      • John: When you go to the toilet, do you have an Armitage Shanks defecation interface, or do you just have a shit?

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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