The Dick Van Dyke Show

Season 1 Episode 22

The Boarder Incident

Aired Unknown Feb 14, 1962 on CBS

Episode Recap

An alarm clock goes off and we see Buddy, asleep on the couch, get up wearing his pajama's. That's not the odd thing. The odd thing is that he's in the writer's office at work! He quickly gets dressed and eliminates all evidence of his "bedroom", muttering, "they'll be here any minute".

A dressed Buddy greets Rob and Sally as they come in for work. His coworkers are shocked at seeing the usually tardy Buddy at work before they are! As a matter of fact, Sally says it's the 3rd day in a row he's been the 1st one in, and Rob adds that if he didn't know him better he'd think he was sleeping in the office! Little they know!

Buddy ignores their suspicions and Sally asks if he's heard from his wife Pickles. He says good news, Pickles mother is getting better and she'll be home in 2 weeks!

Rob says it's time to get to work. They assume the usual working positions: Sally knitting in the chair, Rob on the floor doing his morning push-ups and Buddy prone on the couch! Rob begins his push-ups and only gets as far as, "Opening monologue, Allan comes out and says 'Good...." . He is noticing the PJ's coming out of the end of Buddy's pant legs!

He says to Buddy that either he's wearing his PJ's or he's wearing the LONGEST pair of shorts he's ever seen. Realizing the jig is up, Buddy confesses. He's been sleeping at the office because he misses his wife and can't stand seeing all of her stuff, as it keeps reminding him of his missing wife. He is embarrassed at his sentimental, mushy admission, and when Rob and Sally ask him why the secrecy, Buddy says it was too embarrassing to admit, but he's lonely for his wife! He knew how much he loved her but never knew how much he liked her! He thought they would laugh at him. Sally jokingly reassures him, saying that he knows they NEVER laugh at anything he (a comedy writer) says!

Rob and Sally suggest a hotel, but Buddy says it's worse. He shrugs it off and says he'll be ok. Rob won't take no for an answer and is insisting that he come home with him and he can stay with him and Laura until Pickles returns.

Sally throws a wet blanket over everything. She says that the boys are making a big mistake and that the worst thing 2 friends could do is live together. She predicts that before the end of the 2 weeks, they'll end up hating each other. Sally says she had the same problem, that she lived with 2 other people that she cared about and it ended up with lots of fighting and yelling.

"Who?" asks Buddy " "My parents!" replies Sally

Rob wins the argument and they make plans for Buddy to stay at the Petrie's.

That evening Buddy arrives to the Petrie's after picking up his dog Larry and enough luggage to go on a month's cruise. He even brought his cello!

They all enjoy a great dinner and in honour of Buddy's stay, Laura baked a delicious cake. While Laura gets after dinner coffee and cake ready, Buddy shows Rob how he can make his dog Larry go to sleep by playing Lullaby on the cello. Just then Laura comes in with the tray of coffee cups and cake. Buddy, trying to be a good guest insists on helping her with the tray, and instead makes the tray of Laura's priceless family heirloom dishes go crashing to the floor, cake and all! Buddy is mortified, and Laura is heartbroken. Not an auspicious start to Buddy's stay at 148 Bonny Meadow Road!

Bedtime that evening is no better. Rob and Laura are exhausted as Buddy has kept them up watching the late show till 3 am! Laura is starting rue Buddy's staying with them, but Rob says it's just a one night thing and that Buddy isn't going to want them to stay up with them every night. Just as they put their heads on their respective pillows, Buddy starts to gargle very loud. The Petrie's wait him out, and again they go to sleep, or try to as Buddy's dog Larry begins to whine. Buddy tries to shush Larry but it doesn't work, and then plays him the Lullaby on the cello again. It seems to work and Rob and Laura again say good night and snuggle in to bed. 10 seconds later Larry is whining AGAIN. This time Buddy gargles the Lullaby, and a disgruntled Rob and Laura begin to play cards, realizing they have a long night ahead!

About a week later in the Petrie kitchen, Rob reaches for his newspaper only to find it in tatters! He asks Laura what happened to his morning paper? A frowning Laura comes in and tells him that, as she keeps reminding him, Buddy is "training" Larry to bring in the paper!

A perturbed Rob asks Laura how is supposed to read his paper now? An equally cranky Laura, while pulling a shredded letter, tells Rob "the same way I'm going to read this letter from my mother!"

Rob snaps at Laura asking her "why can't you go out and get the paper BEFORE Larry?" to which Laura indignantly responds, "Oh, so now I have to beat the dog to the paper in the morning?" Laura further complains about how he and Buddy kept her up all night with their carousing! Rob retorts that they were in fact working!

They both stop, realizing that they are fighting, and they are fighting because Buddy and his lifestyle is getting on their nerves. After they make up, they sit down and come to the realization that perhaps it was a mistake having Buddy stay with them. His way of life is upsetting to them. Laura says he should ask Buddy to leave. Rob can't do that, Buddy's his friend. He just can't ask him.

At that moment Buddy comes in asking what it was that Rob can't ask him. Rob covers by saying, he's not going to ask him what he wants for breakfast. Buddy says he's not fussy, and anything is fine with him, just as he lets Larry out the side door and tells Larry not to eat up the tulip bulbs, which he has been doing much to Laura's chagrin!

Laura wants to know how he wants his eggs. Anyway that's easy says Buddy, and asks Rob what kind he's having. Scrambled says Rob and that's ok with Buddy. As Laura begins making the scrambled eggs, Buddy comments that he had them yesterday morning but doesn't mind. Laura stops and asks Buddy what kind of eggs would he like to have, she can make any kind he would like. When she suggests fried, he says fine. Again Laura begins to make his breakfast, and Buddy says he hasn't had fried eggs since he was a kid and his mother forced him to eat them, but he should be brave! A very flustered Laura, against stops making his eggs and begs him to tell her what kind of eggs he would like.

Buddy simply says, "I'm not fussy" ! Rob interjects and says Laura has mentioned every kind of eggs other than Eggs Benedict. Buddy says that would be great! What would says Rob? Eggs Benedict!

A frazzled Laura says she has no idea how to make it. With that, Buddy demands they get out of Uncle Buddy's kitchen, that he's going to fix breakfast! A dubious Laura relents and Buddy proceeds to fix breakfast. After having Rob and Laura as gophers, the trio sit down to 3 plates of lop.

They all look at what's on the plates as if it was from another planet.

The kitchen itself looks like a bomb went off! After all the fuss, breakfast is a disaster. As a unintentional dig, Buddy insists that it must have been her dirty pan. Before Rob can say something that would start a fight, Laura interrupts to remind them they'll be late for work.

Buddy says he'll drive in to work in his own car, as he wants to grab some donuts on the way in. Rob looks at Laura and agrees, he is going to have to ask Buddy to leave.

At the office an uncomfortable Rob is trying to get up the courage to tell Buddy he has to leave. Buddy arrives and they both are uncomfortable. There is almost a nervous tension between them. After realizing they both have something important to say, Buddy starts off. He says that although he considers Rob and Laura very good friends, he thinks he should move out to a hotel! Buddy says that the way they live is upsetting HIS way of life. A confused Rob is unable to admit to Buddy that he agrees, and in fact his confusion is mistaken by Buddy as not wanting him to leave and instead of having Buddy leave, Rob has convinced Buddy to stay!

A confused Rob answers the phone. It is Laura wanting to now how it went with Buddy. As Rob explains that Buddy wanted to leave AND that HE talked Buddy out of it, Laura understands that he has painted himself into a corner and can't get out of it. Just after warning Rob to move the phone away from his ear, she slams the phone down HARD!

Rob and Buddy are smiling nervously as Sally comes in to the office. She is stunned to find them still talking and smiling. She admits she was wrong. She suddenly remembers that Buddy had a message, and reads it back to him.

"Pickles mother is all better and she is coming home tonight"

A smiling Buddy is over the moon, and says to Rob that he won't have to go home with him tonight after all. Buddy makes a big thank-you to Rob, thanking him and Laura for putting up with him for a month. Rob agrees that it's been a pretty rough month. Sally looks at them both like they were crazy. She hates to brake it to them, but it's only been a week, not a month. Buddy and Rob both look confused as they say in unison,

"Boy, it sure seemed like a week!" the both laugh.

That night as Rob and Laura get ready for bed, they are looking forward to a good night's sleep. After they sink their heads into the pillows, Rob gets up and turns on the light!

A wary Rob says to Laura, "Do you hear that?" and Laura says she doesn't hear a thing, it quiet.

Rob says that's right. It's TOO quiet. Laura says that there's no gargling, no whining dog, no cello. Realizing that they are now conditioned to Buddy's noise, Rob pulls out the playing cards and they resign themselves to having to play cards until they can sleep!
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