The Drew Carey Show

Season 9 Episode 22

Assault with a Lovely Weapon

Aired Daily 9:00 PM Aug 25, 2004 on ABC



  • Trivia

    • When Crystal is dancing on the pole, just after Drew asks her for advice, she takes her skirt off twice!

  • Quotes

    • Arbitrator: Lewis, I award you damages for your medical bills. However, I see that you are a janitor. So I can't give you $4 million in lost wages.
      Lewis: What!?

    • (Kellie is reminded in court that she is under oath)
      Kellie: (Kellie directs her attention to Drew, pointing out how he lied to her) I don't need to be threatened by jail to tell the truth.

    • (Lewis makes Drew testify for him in court, which forces Drew to tell Kellie about going to a strip club)
      Drew: (speaking to Lewis) But thanks to you, I have to tell the girl I love the truth. Thanks...a...lot!

    • (Drew suggest Lewis sell some of his household items to pay his medical bills)
      Drew: Why don't you sell your mannequins?
      Lewis: They're missing heads. They aren't worth anything anymore.

    • (Drew sees Mimi playing with her new band)
      Drew: Hey, haven't seen you guys in a while. Not since that Star Wars cantina scene.

    • (Lewis walks into the Warsaw and sighs loudly behind Drew and Oswald, who don't hear him. He tries again)
      Oswald: Hey, man what's the matter?
      Drew: Are you okay?
      Lewis: I think me and Sherri are through.
      Oswald: Why? It was going so well. Didn't you just go to her parents' house for dinner?
      Lewis: Yeah, I know. I knew there was a problem when she said to her father: "Look, if you don't buy me a car, then I'll marry this guy."

    • (Kellie is impressed with Mimi's desire to learn to play bass)
      Oswald: Oh, so it's okay for women to play bass, but not strip. Where's the line, huh, where's the line!?

  • Notes

  • Allusions