The Drew Carey Show

Season 1 Episode 20

Drew and Kate and Kate's Mom

0
Aired Wednesday 9:00 PM Feb 27, 1996 on ABC

Trivia

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  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Lewis: I've finally figured out a way to take the granddaddy of all deductions. I am going to become Oswald's illegal guardian.
      Drew: Are you crazy? You can't adopt an adult. If you could I would have adopted Anna Nicole Smith years ago.

    • Lynn: Well, Lisa, I see you're the lucky girl that finally landed Drew.
      Lisa: No, I just fed him once and he followed me home.

    • (Mimi walks to her desk and sees the man who looks exactly like Drew.)
      Mimi: So much crap, they had to start a second pile.

    • Drew: You were drunk? Oh no. What am I going to do with this ring? And I already broke up with Lisa. I told my mother. She was so happy. (Pretends to cry) How could you do this to me? I suppose the sex didn't mean anything to you either!
      Kate: Drew?
      Drew (still fake crying): What?!
      Kate: You had so much to drink you couldn't even get your eyelids up.

    • Drew: This could work out, but you know, you'd have to be drunk all the time.

    • Kate: Kiss me.
      Drew: What?!
      (Kate leans in closer.)
      Kate: Kiss!
      Drew: Hey, you don't know what you're saying. You're drunk. And you've been throwing up.

    • Drew: It's okay, Kate. There'll be other guys. Of course, your mom'll hate 'em, but eventually she'll be dead.

    • Kate: Besides, I can have any man in this bar! Am I right? (Climbs on table)
      Drew (standing): Hey, she's been drinking! And I know there's not a man in this bar who'd take advantage of a woman who's been drinking.
      Oswald (whispering): I have a gun.
      Drew: I have a gun!

    • Kate: I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? Men are slime.
      Oswald: Amen to that, sister!

    • Lewis (to the waitress): Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my rumpus room?

    • Mrs. O'Brien: So what's the matter? He's too stable? He's got too good of a job. Oh, he treats you too nicely. You know, I think you ought to stop looking at the guys with the tightest butts (pantomimes a butt with her hands) and start looking at (puts hands much further apart) Drew.

    • Kate: You're right. You know, I should call Drew right now and see if he wants to start a relationship. Because it's the end of the world, and my mother's been chugging COUGH SYRUP again!

    • Jay: But I don't have room in the cab.
      Drew: Yeah, but you'd have room if your life depended on it, wouldn't you, buddy? Hear what I'm saying? Fire in the hole!

    • Drew: Hi, Mimi. Say, anyone ever mistake you for a woman?
      Mimi: I'll have you know that men find me...
      Drew: Yeah, I know. They find you with the lights out, or they find you at last call, or they find you blocking the view of the woman they want to hit on.

    • Drew: What do you think of Jay? He's a pretty nice guy, huh?
      Mrs. O'Brien: Actually, he scares the life out of me.
      Drew: No, Oswald's the one with the curly hair.

    • Lewis: Now do you think there's any way we can prove that Oswald's mentally incompetent?
      Mrs. O'Brien: I think it would be harder to prove that he's not.

    • Drew: You've finally got a guy you can take home to Mom. What's not to like? (to Jay) I'd lose the earring.
      Oswald: I'd take the hair down an inch.
      Lewis: And how 'bout a skosh more room in those jeans?

    • Lewis (to Oswald): Why don't you get Daddy a Jagrmeister?

    • Kate (after her mother gives her a sweater): Ooh, I hope this is the one that lands me a man!

    • Kate: Sorry. Just killing Mom before time gets here.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

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