The Drew Carey Show

Season 7 Episode 4

Married to a Mob

Aired Wednesday 9:00 PM Oct 10, 2001 on ABC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • (Lewis and Oswald are thinking of building a house in a city park)
      Oswald: The park would be a perfect place to build a house.
      Oswald and Lewis: Let's build a house!
      Oswald (Oswald looks to Drew): Drew, this is the part where you tell us it's a bad idea.
      Drew: No, I have two wives, I have nothing to say.

    • (Mimi and Drew decide on a truce to stop playing pranks on each other and revealing Drew's bigamy)
      Mimi: So no more nasty surprises.
      Drew: Uh, have you been out to your car recently?
      Mimi: No.
      Drew (takes a basket and musical instrument out of his desk and heads off to go to Mimi's car): If I'm not back in thirty minutes, call animal control.

    • Lewis (after a realtor talks about how a mini house was possibly built by various mystical creatures): Yeah I don't believe in midgets.

    • Kate (Drew sneaks into bed with Kate after returning from his house): Good morning Drew.
      Drew: Good morning.
      Kate (looks Drew over): Drew, why are you all sweaty?
      Drew (thinking quickly): I had a dream that vegetables were chasing me in the forest.
      Kate: Drew, why is there a leaf in your hair?
      Drew: Honey, if you're going to give me the third degree for having a leaf in my hair, what kind of marriage are we going to have?

    • Waitress: Why would you want to live above a bar?
      Oswald: Because they wouldn't let us live in the bar.

    • Drew: Listen, before you go judging me, I happen to love Kate and Nicki.
      Mimi: You know, I hate to break it to you, but getting two women halfway there is not the same as getting one all the way home.

    • Drew: What are you guys doing here?
      Oswald: Well, we were just in the neighborhood. We'd thought we'd drop by and see how the dinner's going.
      Drew: What's with the first aid kit?
      Lewis: Oh, it's to sew your genitals back on.

    • Drew: Hey, I got a big problem. I just got married to Kate.
      Lewis: You mean you just got married to Nicki?
      Drew: No, that was the day before yesterday.

    • Oswald: May you two have a long and happy life together.
      Kate: Oh, that's so sweet, Oswald.
      Oswald: Yeah, it's bigamy, ain't it?

    • Oswald: Hey, good luck with the dinner.
      Drew: Thanks, but I think I don't need it. I think for once, God is gonna back up the crap truck and bury some other poor bastard.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

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