(Lewis and Oswald are thinking of building a house in a city park)
Oswald: The park would be a perfect place to build a house.
Oswald and Lewis: Let's build a house!
Oswald (Oswald looks to Drew): Drew, this is the part where you tell us it's a bad idea.
Drew: No, I have two wives, I have nothing to say.
(Mimi and Drew decide on a truce to stop playing pranks on each other and revealing Drew's bigamy)
Mimi: So no more nasty surprises.
Drew: Uh, have you been out to your car recently?
Drew (takes a basket and musical instrument out of his desk and heads off to go to Mimi's car): If I'm not back in thirty minutes, call animal control.
Lewis (after a realtor talks about how a mini house was possibly built by various mystical creatures): Yeah I don't believe in midgets.
Kate (Drew sneaks into bed with Kate after returning from his house): Good morning Drew.
Drew: Good morning.
Kate (looks Drew over): Drew, why are you all sweaty?
Drew (thinking quickly): I had a dream that vegetables were chasing me in the forest.
Kate: Drew, why is there a leaf in your hair?
Drew: Honey, if you're going to give me the third degree for having a leaf in my hair, what kind of marriage are we going to have?
Waitress: Why would you want to live above a bar?
Oswald: Because they wouldn't let us live in the bar.
Drew: Listen, before you go judging me, I happen to love Kate and Nicki.
Mimi: You know, I hate to break it to you, but getting two women halfway there is not the same as getting one all the way home.
Drew: What are you guys doing here?
Oswald: Well, we were just in the neighborhood. We'd thought we'd drop by and see how the dinner's going.
Drew: What's with the first aid kit?
Lewis: Oh, it's to sew your genitals back on.
Drew: Hey, I got a big problem. I just got married to Kate.
Lewis: You mean you just got married to Nicki?
Drew: No, that was the day before yesterday.
Oswald: May you two have a long and happy life together.
Kate: Oh, that's so sweet, Oswald.
Oswald: Yeah, it's bigamy, ain't it?
Oswald: Hey, good luck with the dinner.
Drew: Thanks, but I think I don't need it. I think for once, God is gonna back up the crap truck and bury some other poor bastard.
"Stuck in the Middle With You" by Stealers Wheel plays during a montage of Drew running back and forth between his wives.
This is the first Drew Carey episode to be broadcast in HDTV.