Ellen: Now, Pink, that's obviously not your name. Where'd you get that from?
Ellen: You don't have to answer, I don't care. (audience and Pink laugh)
Pink: Reservoir Dogs was our favorite movie. And I always liked Mr. Pink because he was a smart-ass, kinda sarcastic.
Ellen: That's how I got 'magenta.' (audience and Pink laugh) That's such a lie that story you just told. That's not true at all. (Pink keeps laughing) But we accept it. Now, I know your mom---how old were you when she made you smoke so many cigarettes?
Pink: Oh, I was in 7th grade.
Ellen: You were in 7th grade and your mom made you do what?
Pink: She caught me smoking and made me smoke the entire pack in front of her because she thought that would make me wanna quit, but then I was just outta cigarettes. (everyone laughs)
Ellen (picking up the donkey from the table): Well, we certainly don't advocate smoking here but we do have the smoking ass donkey. (takes a cigarette out of it's ass with her mouth, everyone laughs) And we got you one. (hands it to her)
Pink (gasps): I love it, thank you. I got you something too.
Ellen: What'd you get me?
Pink (pulls out a make up brush, and make up): Well, it's obliques in a bottle.
Ellen: You just paint 'em on? (Pink nods) Have the shadow. (everyone laughs) You can do anything, you can get all kindas definition that way. Thank you very much. That's so sweet of you. I can have pizza tonight after all. I wasn't gonna eat pizza, now I will. Well, I got you another gift.
Pink: Yes! (picks up the smoking ass donkey) Nothin' can top this though.
Ellen: No, I know. It's really nice.
Pink: I can't wait to show my mom.
Ellen: Well, we got you a 'Think' skateboard, and that's me on the bottom right there. Are those skateboarding shoes? (Pink shows her heel boots)
Pink: No, but I can take 'em off. (starts takin' 'em off)
Ellen: We'd love to see you skate.
Pink: Are you gonna skate with me? C'mon you got the shoes.
Ellen (unenthused): Yeah, in a minute. (everyone laughs)
Pink (stands up with skateboard): Alright. I think I might lose this though. (picks up her microphone)
Ellen: Well, hold onto it. Tuck it into your obliques. (everyone laughs)
Pink: I didn't dress for this. Okay, I'm ready.
Ellen: I wish we had a ramp.
Pink: I have a ramp.
Ellen: Do you?
Pink: Yeah. In my backyard. (Pink skates to the other side of the set)
Ellen: Alright, roll on back over this way. I'm not gonna try it 'cause everyone here would be outta work then. (everyone laughs)
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