Ellen: We found out that you were in jail one night.
Kate Walsh: Yeah, it was great. (audience laughs)
Kate Walsh: It was wonderful, everybody should do it. (Ellen laughs) Jail, yeah Mom, jail. I just realized my mother never knew. Yeah, mom, I was in the big house, it was cool.
Ellen: Really? Your mother's never heard this until now?
Kate Walsh: No. I realized when I was back there my mom emailed everyone. "Katie's on Ellen." (Ellen, Kate and the audience laugh) "Tune in." She's gonna love this. (audience laughs)
Ellen: So tell us, Kate, about your time in the slammer.
Kate Walsh: Yeah, it turns out you don't wanna throw a cue ball threw a mirror at a bar. After a few drinks with a friend….
Ellen: Was it a fight or…?
Kate Walsh (laughs): No, no. It was just an argument that escalated after a couple vodka and tonics. I was out with my friend Pat McCartney, just a coupla Irish people, but y'know, whatever, and he just started arguing and I thought, you know, I'll end this. It was very calm and calculated, everything was in slow motion. (mocks her actions of throwing a cue ball in slow motion) Then we quietly walked out and then I was arrested. (audience laughs) And it was a little like the cheerleader went crazy or something because at the time I had bleach blonde hair, a short little mini skirt, platform sandals, little 70's retro top…and the cops were like: "What? You did what?" And the girl's like don't worry, everything's gonna be fine. Cut to me in the back of a police car, which was a new car, and I was like "Oh, new car smell, cool." (everyone laughs) There all like, "Don't worry, don't worry, nothing's gonna happen." Cut to me in the back of another police car going to the big house, the big, big house.
Ellen: Where was this?
Kate Walsh: Chicago.
Ellen: Oh, no.
Kate Walsh: Yeah, it wasn't like Andy Griffith, "Hey, Mayberry." It was Cook County, yeah just a little place called Cook County. (audience laughs)
Ellen: Yeah, it wasn't like you and Otis with the jail cell open and you can walk in the jail. So was there anyone else in there with you?
Kate Walsh: Here's the thing, when I was walking down the cell block, and I was like the last cell it was a horror movie, it was freezing cold, they keep it chilly in there. Even in August it was chilly.
Ellen: How rude! (audience laughs)
Kate Walsh: Yeah, so I turned the corner, and I saw my cellmates, who were spooning, they were spooning. A couple of girls just tryin' to keep warm. (everyone laughs) And I went in…and…
Ellen (laughs): "Hi!"
Kate Walsh (laughs): Yeah, I'm like "Hi. I'm Kate." (everyone is laughing)
Ellen: So did they stop spooning and introduce themselves?
Kate Walsh: I didn't wanna wake them, and y'know, I was like let them sleep. And the crying, the hysterical crying and keening…
Ellen: Woke them up?
Kate Walsh: Yeah, and they told me to shut up. (everyone laughs) And then they asked me what I was in for. And I was like I threw a cue ball and they're like what.
Ellen: What were they in for?
Kate Walsh: Some shop lifting, some grand theft larsney. (audience laughs)
Ellen: But they didn't steal warm enough clothes that they had to spoon.
Kate Walsh: It was August in Chicago, like 800% humidity and 400 degrees…
Ellen: And yet they keep it cold in the slammer---good to know. (audience laughs) Yeah, if you're planning on getting arrested, bring a warm jacket--
Kate Walsh: Yeah if you're planning on getting arrested bring a sweater. (audience laughs)
Ellen: Yeah, a nice sweater set.
Kate Walsh: Maybe a little thermos for hot coffee.
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