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Bucky the Squirrel
The Royal Record Keeper
Curi, Cuxi, and Cuca
When Malina, Kronk and Kuzco are running away from Mr. Purutu, Kuzco is holding the wind chimes. In the next shot, they're gone.
Kuzco lies to Moxie by saying that he and Kronk are from a school called Oczuk. Oczuk is actually "Kuzco" spelled backwards.
Kuzco: (polishing wind chimes with Malina, Kronk, and Moxie) Oh no, here comes another breeze.
Malina: Kronk, Bucky's on your head.
Kuzco: I got him.
Malina: Ya know, I think I'm supposed to be at cheerleading practice. Wanna come? Say yes.
Moxie: Okay, I gotta beef up my extracurricular's to get accepted at Kuzford University anyway.
Malina: Kuzford U? That's my dream school. Good luck with the chimes, guys.
Kuzco: You see that. Malina's all buddy buddy with Moxie instead of us now. Get the girl potion, Kronk. We're going to tryout for the cheerleading squad.
Kuzco & Kronk: (as girl cheerleaders) K - U - Z - C - O, Kuzco, Kuzco, go go!
(Malina falls out of other box)
Kuzco: Malina? I mean girl in a crate, I've never met or seen before.
Malina: Hey, you must be the new, uh, girls. Moxie told me about you. Kuzcolina and Kronkcal, right?
Kronk: Yeah, Kuzcolina and he's Kronkcal. Ha, flip that.
Malina: Look, I know its hard finding your place around here, believe me, I know. I just hope you guys, girls, don't make a mistake just to impress Moxie. Real friends don't test you, like my friends Kuzco and Kronk. They're the best. Have you met them?
Kuzco: No, but I've heard of that Kuzco fellow. He's awesome.
Kronk: The Kronk guy's nice too.
Kuzco: It's us! We missed you, so we took a girl potion and turned ourselves into girls.
Kronk: It wasn't the best idea!
Kuzco: It's not the idea, it's not the idea, it's the idea's fault and he was fine. And why am I so emotional?
Kronk: It must be the potion. Hold me.
Malina: Uhh, maybe you guys should take the boy potion, like soon. Quick! Mr. Purutu's coming back.
Kuzco: Okay, if we want to hang with Malina again, we got wind chimes to score. We need a plan. How about this? We tunnel under the school. Actually you tunnel. Me no diggy.
Kronk: How would we know where to tunnel exactly? And I don't look like that!
Kuzco: Umm, good point. And yes, you do. What if we float over the school and drop in through the air vents, and by we, I mean you. Me no droppy.
Kronk: Some of those vents go to the furnace. Why are you taller than me?
Kuzco: Because I'm standing on a box...of presents, for you.
Kronk: Really? Thanks, pal. Hey, what if we wait until Mr. Purutu leaves his office and just walk in?
Kuzco: Na, that's too easy. Wait, I got it.
(End credits are playing)
Kuzco: Hola! You lucky credit watching viewers. Listen in awe to the premiere single of my awesome polka band, the KuzCordials.
Coach Sweaty: Malina, A+. (pen writes A-, and stops) Ah stinking pen!
Malina: Really? That's fantastic.
Mr. Purutu: Wait right here. I'll be right back.
Kuzco: So, you're an A student?
Moxie: Yeah, got a problem?
Moxie: I don't want to be hassled, so I keep my grades quiet. But this whole being yourself thing worked for you, so maybe I'll give it a try. Who said you can't be cool and smart?
Kuzco: Uh, I do...not. I do not say that and neither should anyone else.
Mr. Purutu: Here you go. You can get started polishing these, shouldn't take long. I mean, I only have 17 more crates.
Mr. Purutu: My chimes.
Kuzco: (in Mr. Purutu's office) He'll never find us in here.
Malina: Oh great.
Mr. Purutu: Well, well, well.
Moxie: Oh no, Mr. Purutu. You ruined it!
Mr. Purutu: Ruined what?
Moxie: My friends and I are total wind chime fans, we wanted to surprise you by polishing your collection. Uh, guess he's too sharp for us, huh guys?
Mr. Purutu: No, no its just I thought something funny was going on, but how can I get a Moxie, one of the best students in school. What a kind and thoughtful gesture. Oh, by the way, Malina, good news. You got an A+ instead of an A- in gym. You're back on the cheerleading squad. Coach Sweaty told me she made a clerical error.
Mr. Purutu: Oh, finally. My Scandinavian battle chimes are here. Now where'd I put my crowbar?
Kronk: (fall out of box) Air, need air.
Kuzco: No time for that. We got to hurry. He could be back any second.
Kuzco: Ah! Hide!
Mid-Crate Express Man: Delivery for you.
Kronk: (doing a Mr. Purutu impersonation) Just put it there young man. I'm tying my shoe right now.
Kuzco: How'd you do that?
Kronk: I do impressions. (does a Kuzco impersonation) I'm pretty good, huh? Yowzer!
Kuzco: Okay, stop that, and I don't say yowzer!
Kuzco: Now its time for Kuzco's Doodles. That's the part of the show-
Kronk: Hey, what about me?
Kuzco: What about you?
Kronk: Well, I'm helping too.
Kronk: Shouldn't my picture be there too?
Kuzco: Are you serious? But Kuzco's Doodles is a recognized brand name, that people know and trust. Can't change the name.
Kronk: Well then, I'm not going to help.
Kuzco: Okay... what if I said "with Kronk?"
Kronk: Featuring Kronk.
Kronk: Oh, okay, fine.
Kuzco: Now it's time for Kuzco's Doodles featuring Kronk.
Kronk: Where's my picture?
Moxie: Got the wind chimes?
Malina: No, I decided not to take them.
Moxie: Not much of prank if you skip that part, is it? (posse brings her a jacket) No, I said get my cool jacket.
Malina: Look, I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not just to impress you. I'm not a thief. I'm Malina.
Moxie: Whatever. I knew you'd bail. That's why I went with plan B.
Malina: Plan B?
Moxie: The two new girls, you know, Kuzcolina and Kronkcal. Sure they look weird, but they were totally up for scoring the chimes. (posse brings her a jacket) No, my cool jacket.
Malina: Kuzcolina and Kronkcal?
Moxie: Yeah. The big one is-
Malina: Really strong and kind of slow with a deep voice and a strange interest in cuisine?
Moxie: Yeah, and the little one is-
Malina: Arrogant and full of himself? I mean herself.
Moxie: Yeah, what are you, psychic?
Malina: Of all the dumb- Uh, thanks Moxie, see ya.
Moxie: Where ya going?
Malina: To straighten out some friends.
Kuzco as Girl: Hi ya, I'm Kuzcolina.
Kronk as Girl: And I'm Kronkcal.
Kuzco: We're new here.
Kronk: And we're girls! So we can be your friends because we're girls.
Kuzco: Too much, ease up.
Moxie: Newbies huh? (Kronk and Kuzco laugh) That wasn't a joke.
Kuzco: Oh right, so we heard you're the coolest girl in school, and since we're the coolest girls in our old school, um uh, Uzook Academy, we figured we'd be friends with you.
Kronk: Like Malina. She's another girl, like us.
Moxie: Are you serious?
Kronk: Yes. And we're girls.
Moxie: Tell you what. If you can prove you're not as lame as you look, we can hang out.
Kronk: She bought it pretty slick huh?
Moxie: Uh, I can hear you. (Kuzco and Kronk laugh)
Mr. Purutu: Oh, Malina, there you are. I was just looking for you.
Malina: Well, here I am.
Mr. Purutu: I talked to Coach Sweaty. Turns out she won't budge on grades. Who knew. I mean, its gym, but I checked out your file, and must say, I'm impressed.
Malina: You are?
Mr. Purutu: Student of the Year, Golden Eraser Winner, Peppiest Penmanship Award, you've got quite a record.
Malina: Yeah, I guess I do.
Mr. Purutu: You've got nothing to worry about, your one of Kuzco Academy's top students. And according to a recent poll, you have a school approval rating of 93%, that's a school record. I mean, I'm only at 22%, that can't be right.
Malina: You know what? Your right. I don't need a new identity.
Mr. Purutu: No you don't, but I might.
Malina: I can't beat being Malina.
Mr. Purutu: Not according to these numbers. Are you holding my wind chimes? I knew it, you're a fellow chimer. Their just mesmerizing aren't they? You know, those chimes once belonged to someone famous. What's his name, or her name? I always forget. Anyway here's a very long story behind them.
Kronk: (as a girl) Beautiful.
Kuzco: (as a girl) What? You're the worst looking girl ever. I on the other hand, make one sweet lookin' lady.
Kronk: Ha, I'm much prettier than you. Look at my cheek bones.
Kuzco: Cheek bones, shale, look at my flowing locks of silky hair.
Kronk: I've seen better, on me!
Kuzco: You're just jealous cause I'm so much hotter than you.
Record Keeper: Gentlemen, I'm not sure this qualifies as an official matter, but I feel obligated to inform you that you are both equally horrible looking females.
Kronk: Alright, I heard Yzma coming, so I just grabbed all the G1's.
Kuzco: Okay, you first, times up. (Kronk turns into a gargoyle) Gargoyle, no good. Now you drink one. (gargoyle turns into a gingerbread man Kronk) Gingerbread man, getting closer, you're up. (gingerbread man turns into a giraffe) Giraffe, almost there, your turn.
Kronk: You're going to make me drink them all, aren't ya?
Kuzco: Here, talk while you drink. (giraffe turns into a giant tooth) Tooth? I don't get it. Tooth starts with "t" not "g."
Kronk: Giant tooth.
Kuzco: Oh! Keep trying.
Kuzco: So, how can we get Malina back?
Kuzco: Oo, I know. We can brainwash her.
Kronk: Nope, she's too smart for that, plus brain soap is expensive.
Kronk: What if we start a band? Girls find musicians irresistible.
Kuzco: No, for the last time, we are not forming a polka band. Ever.
Kronk: Okay, we'll table that for now. Hey, what about that old sane: "If you can't beat them, join them," or is it join a gym? I forget.
Kuzco: Okay, so, how do we do that?
Kronk: Well, first we find a gym that's affordable and close by.
Kuzco: Wait! I got it. We'll use a potion to turn ourselves into girls. Then we can make friends with Moxie and hang out with Malina.
Moxie: That's a new look for you.
Malina: Yeah, blending in is lame.
Moxie: I like it. You almost look cool.
Malina: Oh, I'm cool alright. I just try to keep it low profile.
Moxie: I always thought you were more of a "goody-goody."
Malina: Me? Good, no way. Unless you consider an A- in gym good? (Moxie looks at her) I meant D. Yeah, I'm a total rebel.
Mr. Purutu: (talking to wind chimes Let's find you a breeze, clanky.
Moxie: Uh uh. Rebel huh? Well, are you rebel enough to break into Mr. Purutu's office and take his precious wind chimes?
Malina: Take his wind chimes?
Moxie: Yeah, he'll freak. It'll be hilarious. Why? You scared?
Malina: No, just making sure I heard you right. Like I said, I'm a rebel.
Malina: Guys, I don't look that different.
Kuzco: Uh, yeah, you do. Go ahead tell her Kronk, tell her how you don't recognize her.
Kronk: Yeah okay, where is she?
Kuzco: Right there.
Kronk: That's not Malina.
Malina: Look, if your not cool with the new Malina, you can't hang with the new Malina. In fact, Malina is a lame name. From now on, I'm Mali. Stay solid.
Kuzco; Hold it. Did Malina just break up with us?
Kronk: Nope, Mali did. She signed off Moxie style. Not good. (sees gym teacher) Hey Coach.
Coach: Get out of the girl's laboratory.
Kronk: Malina was weird yesterday, huh, I've never seen her so... ah...
Kronk: Yeah, you read my mind.
Kuzco: Well, I'm sure today, she'll be back to good ole, normal Malina again. (sees Malina dressed like Moxie and mouth drops)
Moxie: Yeah, heard you got kicked off the cheerleading squad. Raw deal. Stay solid.
Kronk: Wow, Moxie just talked to you. She never talks to anyone.
Kuzco: She blinked at me earlier.
Malina: Moxie... talked... to me?
Kuzco: So, Malina, how was your alone time? Figure out, you're lost without me?
Malina: No, but I did figure out that there is not one new activity right for me. I can't believe it.
Kronk: I can't believe the janitor is friends with the locker ghosts.
Malina: Yeah, I could be a janitor. At least that'd be a new identity.
Kuzco: You don't need a new identity.
Kronk: Yeah, you're Malina. You can't upgrade from that.
Malina: Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need an activity to make me stand out. I mean, I stand out just by being me.
Kuzco: Yeah, especially if that means you'll be hanging out with me again. And Kronk too, maybe.
Kronk: Malina, is that you? Please be you and not a locker ghost?
Rudy: Howdy boys.
Kronk: Ah! Locker ghost!
Rudy: I'm not a ghost, not yet.
Kuzco: Good, because we are lost big time. Can you point us in the direction of our lockers?
Kuzco: Turn, got it.
Kuzco: Around. Yeah, they're right here. We're not lost after all.
Kronk: Well, ha ha, how about that hey, Rudy. (they see the janitor is gone and scream, but he is behind them)
Rudy: Pipe down, you're going to wake up the locker ghosts.
Kronk: Warm today.
Kuzco: Yeah, oo, warm.
Kronk: We're kind of lost without her.
Kuzco: Yeah, I know. She makes everything better. And she smells like sunshine. Hottie sunshine.
Kronk: No, I mean we're actually lost. (screams)
Kuzco: Look, Kronk, we gotta move on. It's just you and me now. We start small and need something to talk about.
Kronk: What do you think Malina's doing?
Kuzco: Something besides Malina.
(Malina visits debate club)
Malina: Hi, is this the debate club? I'm interested in joining.
Member 1: State your case, ten seconds.
Malina: Oh, uh, well, I'm smart, I'm outgoing, I love current events.
Member 1: Rebuttal, eight seconds.
Member 2: There's no proof she's smart, outgoing...works at parties, not debate.
Member 1: Responds two seconds.
Malina: What? But I?
Member 1: Rebuttal, five seconds.
Member 2: Pretty faces don't win arguments. Okay, they do.
Member 1: Redirect, one second.
Malina: Never mind.
(Malina visits the dance team)
Malina: Hi, you're the school dance team, right? The Kuzettes? Yes, so I think I'm interested in joining. You, the team. Is there a kicking audition or something? Hello?
Kuzco: Do you have any idea what time it is? It's snack time. Snacks have feelings too, ya know.
Kronk: Yeah, they may be hard and crunchy on the outside, but on the inside they're soft and chewy.
Malina: Guys, I need some alone time.
Kuzco: Yes! Alone! Got it, just the two of us. See ya later, Kronk.
Malina: No, I mean alone as in just me. I need to figure some stuff out.
Malina: Uh, Mr. Purutu, the problem is I got an A- in gym. A-.
Mr. Purutu: Is that good or bad for you?
Malina: It's, it's, bad! I've never got below an A+. It's a mistake.
Mr. Purutu: Could be. Why are you telling me about it?
Malina: You're the school councilor?
Mr. Purutu: And?
Malina: And I need counseling.
Mr. Purutu: Oh, okay, I'll give it a whirl. Maybe you're too focused on grades; you should expand your interests. Perhaps some new friends or a new hobby. For example, I collect wind chimes.
Malina: Wind chimes?
Mr. Purutu: To me, they're friends and hobbies. I name them all. In fact, I wouldn't know what to do if someone took my chimes from me. Chimes.
Kronk: Well, maybe she forgot.
Kuzco: Silly, Kronk. She didn't forget. We always meet here before class. She can't resist me.
Kronk: Maybe she's late.
Kuzco: No, no, no. Sundials must be wrong.
Kronk: All of them, they run in all wrist styles.
Kuzco: Uh, uh. Absolutely. Sun's running behind, not Malina.
Malina: Hey hey! You won't believe this, it's funny. I think Coach Sweaty made a mistake on my gym grade.
Girl 1: We like, don't talk to A-'s.
Girl 2: No way! Cheerleaders can't just skate by on their looks.
Girl 3: You really think we're going to let you drag us down intellectually. Come girls, let's go read.
Girl 1: Did you hear that she totally flunked?
Girl 2: What? (laughs)
Malina: What, you think I'm not okay? That I'm upset? Well, I'm not! I would be upset if cheerleading was a big part of who I am, but it's not. Even if it was, that A- is a mistake. And when it's fixed, we're going to laugh about it, right? Ha ha! Okay, good talk!
Kuzco: So, you think she's upset?
Kronk: Hard to say.
Malina: Take it easy? Who's not taking it easy? Oh not me, that's for sure. I am definitely taking it-
(Kuzco pauses screen to talk)
Kuzco: Hey there. You know I've been know to get easy, now and again. You might even say I'm something of an expert. So maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think Malina, here, is taking it easy. I mean look at the signs, bulgy eyes, flary nostrils, scary teeth, I mean she kind of looks like Pacha when I use his poncho as a bath towel. Ha ha. See? Ah. Yup, I'd definitely say Malina's upset. But only one way to find out for sure, let Kronk ask her.
Malina: (yelling) Easy!!
Kronk: Uh, Malina. Are you okay?
Kuzco: Hey, Malina!
Kuzco: Good to see you.
Kronk: Yeah, have a seat.
Malina: Take it down a notch, guys. So, you ready to check out our grades?
(Rip open envelopes)
Kuzco: Yes! C+, I knew all that hard work would pay off. I rule!
Kronk: Holding steady at a B average. Not too flashy, not too shabby.
Malina: A+, A+, A+, A-? That must be a mistake. That should be an A+. (red paper drops from report)
Kuzco: Ha. What's that scary red paper thing?
Malina: (reads red paper) For failure to maintain an A+ average, you are hereby suspended from cheerleading... effective immediately. What?
Kronk: Ha. Can they do that without a hearing?
Malina: If I get an A-, but I didn't get an A- . It's a mistake.
Kuzco: So you got an A-. What's the big, biggity, biggity, biggity, big deal?
Malina: Who said it was a biggity big deal? Who said that? I didn't say that! And I didn't get an A-.
Kronk: Warm today.
Kuzco: Yeah, warm.
Kronk: What do you think like 77, 78?
Kronk: Ya know, I can't wait. I gotta see my mid-term grades. I'm opening my envelope now!
Kuzco: Stop! No openy. We wait for Malina.
Kuzco: Cause she's a hottie.
Kronk: Oh. I thought maybe it was because she's a good friend and we like to do things together.
Kuzco: Whatever. We're waiting. So wait!
Kuzco: Hey here comes Moxie. Bet she says "Hi" to me today.
Kronk: It's not her style. Moxie doesn't say "Hi." She's too cool for "Hi." (Moxie walks up)
Kuzco: Hi Moxie. She blinked, did you see that?
Kronk: She totally ignored ya.
Kuzco: Having trouble fitting in at school? Just be yourself and everybody will love you... unless you're not cool. In that case, learn to play a guitar or something. Theme music.
UK Airdate: June 16, 2006
Kuzco refers to his and Kronk's polka band as the KuzCordials. This is an allusion to a real group that used to exist called the Cordials.
Kuzford University is a spin off of Hartford University located in West Hartford, Connecticut.
The Mid-Crate Express Man is an allusion to a UPS guy with the brown suit and all.
Girls Behaving Badly is a TV Show on UPN. This episode's title is a pun off of this show.
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