The Emperor's New School

Season 1 Episode 6

Girls Behaving Oddly

Aired Weekdays 4:00 PM Feb 24, 2006 on Disney Channel



  • Trivia

    • When Malina, Kronk and Kuzco are running away from Mr. Purutu, Kuzco is holding the wind chimes. In the next shot, they're gone.

    • Kuzco lies to Moxie by saying that he and Kronk are from a school called Oczuk. Oczuk is actually "Kuzco" spelled backwards.

  • Quotes

    • Kuzco: (polishing wind chimes with Malina, Kronk, and Moxie) Oh no, here comes another breeze.
      Malina: Kronk, Bucky's on your head.
      Kuzco: I got him.
      Malina: Ya know, I think I'm supposed to be at cheerleading practice. Wanna come? Say yes.
      Moxie: Okay, I gotta beef up my extracurricular's to get accepted at Kuzford University anyway.
      Malina: Kuzford U? That's my dream school. Good luck with the chimes, guys.
      Kuzco: You see that. Malina's all buddy buddy with Moxie instead of us now. Get the girl potion, Kronk. We're going to tryout for the cheerleading squad.
      Kuzco & Kronk: (as girl cheerleaders) K - U - Z - C - O, Kuzco, Kuzco, go go!

    • (Malina falls out of other box)
      Kuzco: Malina? I mean girl in a crate, I've never met or seen before.
      Malina: Hey, you must be the new, uh, girls. Moxie told me about you. Kuzcolina and Kronkcal, right?
      Kronk: Yeah, Kuzcolina and he's Kronkcal. Ha, flip that.
      Malina: Look, I know its hard finding your place around here, believe me, I know. I just hope you guys, girls, don't make a mistake just to impress Moxie. Real friends don't test you, like my friends Kuzco and Kronk. They're the best. Have you met them?
      Kuzco: No, but I've heard of that Kuzco fellow. He's awesome.
      Kronk: The Kronk guy's nice too.
      Kuzco: It's us! We missed you, so we took a girl potion and turned ourselves into girls.
      Kronk: It wasn't the best idea!
      Kuzco: It's not the idea, it's not the idea, it's the idea's fault and he was fine. And why am I so emotional?
      Kronk: It must be the potion. Hold me.
      Malina: Uhh, maybe you guys should take the boy potion, like soon. Quick! Mr. Purutu's coming back.

    • Kuzco: Okay, if we want to hang with Malina again, we got wind chimes to score. We need a plan. How about this? We tunnel under the school. Actually you tunnel. Me no diggy.
      Kronk: How would we know where to tunnel exactly? And I don't look like that!
      Kuzco: Umm, good point. And yes, you do. What if we float over the school and drop in through the air vents, and by we, I mean you. Me no droppy.
      Kronk: Some of those vents go to the furnace. Why are you taller than me?
      Kuzco: Because I'm standing on a box...of presents, for you.
      Kronk: Really? Thanks, pal. Hey, what if we wait until Mr. Purutu leaves his office and just walk in?
      Kuzco: Na, that's too easy. Wait, I got it.

    • (End credits are playing)
      Kuzco: Hola! You lucky credit watching viewers. Listen in awe to the premiere single of my awesome polka band, the KuzCordials.

    • Coach Sweaty: Malina, A+. (pen writes A-, and stops) Ah stinking pen!
      Malina: Really? That's fantastic.
      Mr. Purutu: Wait right here. I'll be right back.
      Kuzco: So, you're an A student?
      Moxie: Yeah, got a problem?
      Kuzco: No!
      Moxie: I don't want to be hassled, so I keep my grades quiet. But this whole being yourself thing worked for you, so maybe I'll give it a try. Who said you can't be cool and smart?
      Kuzco: Uh, I do...not. I do not say that and neither should anyone else.
      Mr. Purutu: Here you go. You can get started polishing these, shouldn't take long. I mean, I only have 17 more crates.

    • Mr. Purutu: My chimes.
      Malina: Fan.
      Kuzco: (in Mr. Purutu's office) He'll never find us in here.
      Malina: Oh great.
      Mr. Purutu: Well, well, well.
      Moxie: Oh no, Mr. Purutu. You ruined it!
      Mr. Purutu: Ruined what?
      Moxie: My friends and I are total wind chime fans, we wanted to surprise you by polishing your collection. Uh, guess he's too sharp for us, huh guys?
      Mr. Purutu: No, no its just I thought something funny was going on, but how can I get a Moxie, one of the best students in school. What a kind and thoughtful gesture. Oh, by the way, Malina, good news. You got an A+ instead of an A- in gym. You're back on the cheerleading squad. Coach Sweaty told me she made a clerical error.

    • Mr. Purutu: Oh, finally. My Scandinavian battle chimes are here. Now where'd I put my crowbar?
      Kronk: (fall out of box) Air, need air.
      Kuzco: No time for that. We got to hurry. He could be back any second.
      Kronk: Footsteps!
      Kuzco: Ah! Hide!
      Mid-Crate Express Man: Delivery for you.
      Kronk: (doing a Mr. Purutu impersonation) Just put it there young man. I'm tying my shoe right now.
      Kuzco: How'd you do that?
      Kronk: I do impressions. (does a Kuzco impersonation) I'm pretty good, huh? Yowzer!
      Kuzco: Okay, stop that, and I don't say yowzer!

    • Kuzco: Now its time for Kuzco's Doodles. That's the part of the show-
      Kronk: Hey, what about me?
      Kuzco: What about you?
      Kronk: Well, I'm helping too.
      Kuzco: So...?
      Kronk: Shouldn't my picture be there too?
      Kuzco: Are you serious? But Kuzco's Doodles is a recognized brand name, that people know and trust. Can't change the name.
      Kronk: Well then, I'm not going to help.
      Kuzco: Okay... what if I said "with Kronk?"
      Kronk: Featuring Kronk.
      Kronk: Oh, okay, fine.
      Kuzco: Now it's time for Kuzco's Doodles featuring Kronk.
      Kronk: Where's my picture?

    • Moxie: Got the wind chimes?
      Malina: No, I decided not to take them.
      Moxie: Not much of prank if you skip that part, is it? (posse brings her a jacket) No, I said get my cool jacket.
      Malina: Look, I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not just to impress you. I'm not a thief. I'm Malina.
      Moxie: Whatever. I knew you'd bail. That's why I went with plan B.
      Malina: Plan B?
      Moxie: The two new girls, you know, Kuzcolina and Kronkcal. Sure they look weird, but they were totally up for scoring the chimes. (posse brings her a jacket) No, my cool jacket.
      Malina: Kuzcolina and Kronkcal?
      Moxie: Yeah. The big one is-
      Malina: Really strong and kind of slow with a deep voice and a strange interest in cuisine?
      Moxie: Yeah, and the little one is-
      Malina: Arrogant and full of himself? I mean herself.
      Moxie: Yeah, what are you, psychic?
      Malina: Of all the dumb- Uh, thanks Moxie, see ya.
      Moxie: Where ya going?
      Malina: To straighten out some friends.

    • Kuzco as Girl: Hi ya, I'm Kuzcolina.
      Kronk as Girl: And I'm Kronkcal.
      Kuzco: We're new here.
      Kronk: And we're girls! So we can be your friends because we're girls.
      Kuzco: Too much, ease up.
      Moxie: Newbies huh? (Kronk and Kuzco laugh) That wasn't a joke.
      Kuzco: Oh right, so we heard you're the coolest girl in school, and since we're the coolest girls in our old school, um uh, Uzook Academy, we figured we'd be friends with you.
      Kronk: Like Malina. She's another girl, like us.
      Moxie: Are you serious?
      Kronk: Yes. And we're girls.
      Moxie: Tell you what. If you can prove you're not as lame as you look, we can hang out.
      Kronk: She bought it pretty slick huh?
      Moxie: Uh, I can hear you. (Kuzco and Kronk laugh)

    • Mr. Purutu: Oh, Malina, there you are. I was just looking for you.
      Malina: Well, here I am.
      Mr. Purutu: I talked to Coach Sweaty. Turns out she won't budge on grades. Who knew. I mean, its gym, but I checked out your file, and must say, I'm impressed.
      Malina: You are?
      Mr. Purutu: Student of the Year, Golden Eraser Winner, Peppiest Penmanship Award, you've got quite a record.
      Malina: Yeah, I guess I do.
      Mr. Purutu: You've got nothing to worry about, your one of Kuzco Academy's top students. And according to a recent poll, you have a school approval rating of 93%, that's a school record. I mean, I'm only at 22%, that can't be right.
      Malina: You know what? Your right. I don't need a new identity.
      Mr. Purutu: No you don't, but I might.
      Malina: I can't beat being Malina.
      Mr. Purutu: Not according to these numbers. Are you holding my wind chimes? I knew it, you're a fellow chimer. Their just mesmerizing aren't they? You know, those chimes once belonged to someone famous. What's his name, or her name? I always forget. Anyway here's a very long story behind them.

    • Kronk: (as a girl) Beautiful.
      Kuzco: (as a girl) What? You're the worst looking girl ever. I on the other hand, make one sweet lookin' lady.
      Kronk: Ha, I'm much prettier than you. Look at my cheek bones.
      Kuzco: Cheek bones, shale, look at my flowing locks of silky hair.
      Kronk: I've seen better, on me!
      Kuzco: You're just jealous cause I'm so much hotter than you.
      Record Keeper: Gentlemen, I'm not sure this qualifies as an official matter, but I feel obligated to inform you that you are both equally horrible looking females.

    • Kronk: Alright, I heard Yzma coming, so I just grabbed all the G1's.
      Kuzco: Okay, you first, times up. (Kronk turns into a gargoyle) Gargoyle, no good. Now you drink one. (gargoyle turns into a gingerbread man Kronk) Gingerbread man, getting closer, you're up. (gingerbread man turns into a giraffe) Giraffe, almost there, your turn.
      Kronk: You're going to make me drink them all, aren't ya?
      Kuzco: Here, talk while you drink. (giraffe turns into a giant tooth) Tooth? I don't get it. Tooth starts with "t" not "g."
      Kronk: Giant tooth.
      Kuzco: Oh! Keep trying.

    • Kuzco: So, how can we get Malina back?
      Kronk: Riiight.
      Kuzco: Oo, I know. We can brainwash her.
      Kronk: Nope, she's too smart for that, plus brain soap is expensive.
      Kuzco: True.
      Kronk: What if we start a band? Girls find musicians irresistible.
      Kuzco: No, for the last time, we are not forming a polka band. Ever.
      Kronk: Okay, we'll table that for now. Hey, what about that old sane: "If you can't beat them, join them," or is it join a gym? I forget.
      Kuzco: Okay, so, how do we do that?
      Kronk: Well, first we find a gym that's affordable and close by.
      Kuzco: Wait! I got it. We'll use a potion to turn ourselves into girls. Then we can make friends with Moxie and hang out with Malina.

    • Moxie: That's a new look for you.
      Malina: Yeah, blending in is lame.
      Moxie: I like it. You almost look cool.
      Malina: Oh, I'm cool alright. I just try to keep it low profile.
      Moxie: I always thought you were more of a "goody-goody."
      Malina: Me? Good, no way. Unless you consider an A- in gym good? (Moxie looks at her) I meant D. Yeah, I'm a total rebel.
      Mr. Purutu: (talking to wind chimes Let's find you a breeze, clanky.
      Moxie: Uh uh. Rebel huh? Well, are you rebel enough to break into Mr. Purutu's office and take his precious wind chimes?
      Malina: Take his wind chimes?
      Moxie: Yeah, he'll freak. It'll be hilarious. Why? You scared?
      Malina: No, just making sure I heard you right. Like I said, I'm a rebel.

    • Malina: Guys, I don't look that different.
      Kuzco: Uh, yeah, you do. Go ahead tell her Kronk, tell her how you don't recognize her.
      Kronk: Yeah okay, where is she?
      Kuzco: Right there.
      Kronk: That's not Malina.
      Kuzco: See?
      Malina: Look, if your not cool with the new Malina, you can't hang with the new Malina. In fact, Malina is a lame name. From now on, I'm Mali. Stay solid.
      Kuzco; Hold it. Did Malina just break up with us?
      Kronk: Nope, Mali did. She signed off Moxie style. Not good. (sees gym teacher) Hey Coach.
      Coach: Get out of the girl's laboratory.

    • Kronk: Malina was weird yesterday, huh, I've never seen her so... ah...
      Kuzco: Weird?
      Kronk: Yeah, you read my mind.
      Kuzco: Well, I'm sure today, she'll be back to good ole, normal Malina again. (sees Malina dressed like Moxie and mouth drops)

    • Moxie: Yeah, heard you got kicked off the cheerleading squad. Raw deal. Stay solid.
      Kronk: Wow, Moxie just talked to you. She never talks to anyone.
      Kuzco: She blinked at me earlier.
      Kronk: Ignored.
      Malina: Moxie... talked... to me?

    • Kuzco: So, Malina, how was your alone time? Figure out, you're lost without me?
      Malina: No, but I did figure out that there is not one new activity right for me. I can't believe it.
      Kronk: I can't believe the janitor is friends with the locker ghosts.
      Malina: Yeah, I could be a janitor. At least that'd be a new identity.
      Kuzco: You don't need a new identity.
      Kronk: Yeah, you're Malina. You can't upgrade from that.
      Malina: Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need an activity to make me stand out. I mean, I stand out just by being me.
      Kuzco: Yeah, especially if that means you'll be hanging out with me again. And Kronk too, maybe.

    • Kronk: Malina, is that you? Please be you and not a locker ghost?
      Rudy: Howdy boys.
      Kronk: Ah! Locker ghost!
      Rudy: I'm not a ghost, not yet.
      Kuzco: Good, because we are lost big time. Can you point us in the direction of our lockers?
      Rudy: Sure.Turn-
      Kuzco: Turn, got it.
      Rudy: Around-
      Kuzco: Around. Yeah, they're right here. We're not lost after all.
      Kronk: Well, ha ha, how about that hey, Rudy. (they see the janitor is gone and scream, but he is behind them)
      Rudy: Pipe down, you're going to wake up the locker ghosts.

    • Kronk: Warm today.
      Kuzco: Yeah, oo, warm.
      Kronk: We're kind of lost without her.
      Kuzco: Yeah, I know. She makes everything better. And she smells like sunshine. Hottie sunshine.
      Kronk: No, I mean we're actually lost. (screams)

    • Kuzco: Look, Kronk, we gotta move on. It's just you and me now. We start small and need something to talk about.
      Kronk: What do you think Malina's doing?
      Kuzco: Something besides Malina.

    • (Malina visits debate club)
      Malina: Hi, is this the debate club? I'm interested in joining.
      Member 1: State your case, ten seconds.
      Malina: Oh, uh, well, I'm smart, I'm outgoing, I love current events.
      Member 1: Rebuttal, eight seconds.
      Member 2: There's no proof she's smart, at parties, not debate.
      Member 1: Responds two seconds.
      Malina: What? But I?
      Member 1: Rebuttal, five seconds.
      Member 2: Pretty faces don't win arguments. Okay, they do.
      Member 1: Redirect, one second.
      Malina: Never mind.

    • (Malina visits the dance team)
      Malina: Hi, you're the school dance team, right? The Kuzettes? Yes, so I think I'm interested in joining. You, the team. Is there a kicking audition or something? Hello?

    • Kuzco: Do you have any idea what time it is? It's snack time. Snacks have feelings too, ya know.
      Kronk: Yeah, they may be hard and crunchy on the outside, but on the inside they're soft and chewy.
      Malina: Guys, I need some alone time.
      Kuzco: Yes! Alone! Got it, just the two of us. See ya later, Kronk.
      Malina: No, I mean alone as in just me. I need to figure some stuff out.

    • Malina: Uh, Mr. Purutu, the problem is I got an A- in gym. A-.
      Mr. Purutu: Is that good or bad for you?
      Malina: It's, it's, bad! I've never got below an A+. It's a mistake.
      Mr. Purutu: Could be. Why are you telling me about it?
      Malina: You're the school councilor?
      Mr. Purutu: And?
      Malina: And I need counseling.
      Mr. Purutu: Oh, okay, I'll give it a whirl. Maybe you're too focused on grades; you should expand your interests. Perhaps some new friends or a new hobby. For example, I collect wind chimes.
      Malina: Wind chimes?
      Mr. Purutu: To me, they're friends and hobbies. I name them all. In fact, I wouldn't know what to do if someone took my chimes from me. Chimes.

    • Kronk: Well, maybe she forgot.
      Kuzco: Silly, Kronk. She didn't forget. We always meet here before class. She can't resist me.
      Kronk: Maybe she's late.
      Kuzco: No, no, no. Sundials must be wrong.
      Kronk: All of them, they run in all wrist styles.
      Kuzco: Uh, uh. Absolutely. Sun's running behind, not Malina.

    • Malina: Hey hey! You won't believe this, it's funny. I think Coach Sweaty made a mistake on my gym grade.
      Girl 1: We like, don't talk to A-'s.
      Girl 2: No way! Cheerleaders can't just skate by on their looks.
      Girl 3: You really think we're going to let you drag us down intellectually. Come girls, let's go read.

    • Girl 1: Did you hear that she totally flunked?
      Girl 2: What? (laughs)

    • Malina: What, you think I'm not okay? That I'm upset? Well, I'm not! I would be upset if cheerleading was a big part of who I am, but it's not. Even if it was, that A- is a mistake. And when it's fixed, we're going to laugh about it, right? Ha ha! Okay, good talk!
      Kuzco: So, you think she's upset?
      Kronk: Hard to say.

    • Malina: Take it easy? Who's not taking it easy? Oh not me, that's for sure. I am definitely taking it-
      (Kuzco pauses screen to talk)
      Kuzco: Hey there. You know I've been know to get easy, now and again. You might even say I'm something of an expert. So maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think Malina, here, is taking it easy. I mean look at the signs, bulgy eyes, flary nostrils, scary teeth, I mean she kind of looks like Pacha when I use his poncho as a bath towel. Ha ha. See? Ah. Yup, I'd definitely say Malina's upset. But only one way to find out for sure, let Kronk ask her.
      Malina: (yelling) Easy!!
      Kronk: Uh, Malina. Are you okay?

    • Malina: Hey!
      Kuzco: Hey, Malina!
      Kronk: Malina!
      Kuzco: Good to see you.
      Kronk: Yeah, have a seat.
      Malina: Take it down a notch, guys. So, you ready to check out our grades?
      (Rip open envelopes)
      Kuzco: Yes! C+, I knew all that hard work would pay off. I rule!
      Kronk: Holding steady at a B average. Not too flashy, not too shabby.
      Malina: A+, A+, A+, A-? That must be a mistake. That should be an A+. (red paper drops from report)
      Kuzco: Ha. What's that scary red paper thing?
      Malina: (reads red paper) For failure to maintain an A+ average, you are hereby suspended from cheerleading... effective immediately. What?
      Kronk: Ha. Can they do that without a hearing?
      Malina: If I get an A-, but I didn't get an A- . It's a mistake.
      Kuzco: So you got an A-. What's the big, biggity, biggity, biggity, big deal?
      Malina: Who said it was a biggity big deal? Who said that? I didn't say that! And I didn't get an A-.

    • Kronk: Warm today.
      Kuzco: Yeah, warm.
      Kronk: What do you think like 77, 78?

    • Kronk: Ya know, I can't wait. I gotta see my mid-term grades. I'm opening my envelope now!
      Kuzco: Stop! No openy. We wait for Malina.
      Kronk: Why?
      Kuzco: Cause she's a hottie.
      Kronk: Oh. I thought maybe it was because she's a good friend and we like to do things together.
      Kuzco: Whatever. We're waiting. So wait!
      Kronk: Uhh.

    • Kuzco: Hey here comes Moxie. Bet she says "Hi" to me today.
      Kronk: It's not her style. Moxie doesn't say "Hi." She's too cool for "Hi." (Moxie walks up)
      Kuzco: Hi Moxie. She blinked, did you see that?
      Kronk: She totally ignored ya.
      Kuzco: Blinked.
      Kronk: Ignored.

    • Kuzco: Having trouble fitting in at school? Just be yourself and everybody will love you... unless you're not cool. In that case, learn to play a guitar or something. Theme music.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Kuzco refers to his and Kronk's polka band as the KuzCordials. This is an allusion to a real group that used to exist called the Cordials.

    • Kuzford University is a spin off of Hartford University located in West Hartford, Connecticut.

    • The Mid-Crate Express Man is an allusion to a UPS guy with the brown suit and all.

    • Girls Behaving Badly is a TV Show on UPN. This episode's title is a pun off of this show.