Blair: I'm a... I'm a ventriloquist.
Tootie: Ha! You're a what?
Cathy: Blair Warner, a ventriloquist?
Blair: Well when I was a kid I was alone a lot, and so I'd sit in front of the mirror... my favorite place... and I'd entertain myself.
Guy: Well come on.
Tootie: Let's see it.
Blair: Look, I haven't done this in a long time. I'm gonna need a dummy... Joooo?
Tootie: Aw, come on Jo.
Blair: Come on Jo, loosen up a little?
Jo: Alright, since you put it that way.
(Jo goes to sit on the couch and Blair pulls her onto her lap)
Blair: Now when I pull your ponytail open your mouth.
Jo: Look, you're not the same with other people as you are with us. Around here you're yourself. Goofy. But out there you're always "Blair Warner: Harvest Queen". You're always telling people what to wear and what to eat and how to eat it.
Blair: Maybe you're right. Thanks.
Jo: Ya know, another thing... You shouldn't worry what people think of ya. So they see you fall on the ice, what difference does it make? You're... human.
Blair: I understand what you're saying Jo. Thank you.
Jo: Ya know, another thing-
Blair: There's more?
Jo: Blair! Come on! We're out in the world now! Things are different. You gotta get down off your pedestal and start being yourself.
Blair: I'm not sure I know how to do that.
Jo: Sure you do. Just loosen up a little.
Blair: Jo, what's happened to me? Tell me what I'm doing wrong.
Jo: Oh come on Blair, that'd take me a week!
Blair: You don't want to make phone calls. What you should do is mail invitations. You can use some of mine.
Jo: Blair, this is not some fancy debutante ball. It's a little get-together.
Blair: Well it's your first little get-together and you should do it right.
Jo: Blair, it's my little get-together and I'll do it anyway I want.
Blair: What does that mean? Taco chips and beer?
Jo: What's wrong with that?
Blair: I suppose we can also look forward to an evening of heavy metal and hearing loss. Well if you want to scream over that-
Jo: Blair it's my party and I'll scream if I want to! And I'll invite who I want the way I want!
Blair: Fine. Go ahead and make phone calls. I don't care. I don't care if you shout it at the top of your lungs!
Jo: Great! THE PARTY IS SATURDAY NIGHT AT EIGHT O'CLOCK!
Blair: I WON'T BE THERE!
Blair: When we were at Eastland I was a big fish and Jo was a little guppy. Now I'm a little fish and Jo is Shamu! What am I doing wrong?
Natalie: Well, first of all you're babbling.
Blair: It's a popularity contest. You don't win those, I do.
Kelly: Not this time, Toots.
This episode was videotaped on January 24, 1984.