The Flintstones

Season 2 Episode 25

This is Your Lifesaver

0
Aired Friday 8:30 PM Mar 09, 1962 on ABC

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  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Fred: I told Wilma how she can economize and save 500 bucks a year on the grocery bill alone.
      Barney: Oh, you gonna cut out your midnight raids on the icebox?
      Fred: No, I'm gonna cancel the big food disposal unit Wilma was expecting-- her mother. She eats like a 7-year locust, only she comes here every 7 months.
      Barney: You're lucky, Fred. Look at poor Harvey Boxite. He's been married 12 years and his mother-in-law only visited him once.
      Fred: What's so bad about that?
      Barney: She came the day after they was married, and never left.

    • Fred: Wilma, where's the sport section of the newspaper?
      Wilma: I think Mr. Gypsum took it.
      (Next day)
      Fred: Wilma, where's the last bottle of Rocky Cola I was saving?
      Wilma: I think Montague took it.
      (Next day)
      Fred: Wilma, where's that magazine I was reading?
      Wilma: I think Monty took it.
      (Next day)
      Fred: Oh, Wilma, where's that bottle of rat poison?
      Wilma: Fred, you can't!
      Fred: WELL, HE'S TAKEN EVERYTHING ELSE!

    • Barney: Yes, sir. I always say a couple of good nights sleep will straighten anybody out, except you, Fred.
      (Fred mumbles)
      Barney: Gee, your eyes look like someone pried the covers off two cans of red paint. Hey, uh, didn't you get any sleep last night either?
      Fred: No.
      Barney: That's three nights running. You got insomnia.
      Fred: No, I got a house guest.
      Barney: What's that got to do with it?
      Fred: Did you ever try sleeping in a rocking chair without a safety belt?
      Barney: How come you slept in a rocking chair?
      Fred: Because Wilma was sleeping on the couch.
      Barney: Well, how come Wilma was sleeping on the couch?
      Fred: Because J. Montague Gypsum was sleeping in both our beds.
      Barney: Both beds? How come?
      Fred: Because J.M. Gypsum got a bad back from sleeping on the couch, so now he has to sleep on the bias across two beds pushed together because Wilma feels sorry for him, AND BECAUSE I'M A BIG STUPID NUT!

    • Fred: All right, all right. Where's Wilma?
      J. Montague Gypsum: Oh, you're back. You left in such a hurry, I didn't have a chance to tell you. Both of them left. Mentioned something about tired of being cooped up.
      Fred: What did you say to Wilma? You made'em leave. You did it.
      J. Montague Gypsum: What are you talking about, Ferdy?
      Fred: The name's Fred. And I'm talking about my razor, my aftershave lotion, my smokes, my robe, my slippers, and a whole case of Rocky Cola. And when are you leaving?! That's what I'm talking about!
      J. Montague Gypsum: Dear, boy. You have to expect these little annoyances when you have a house guest. I find you quite abominable, too, but let's make the best of it, shall we? We're both in this together.
      Fred: What do you mean "both together"?
      J. Montague Gypsum: Don't you remember? You saved my life, Ferdy.
      Fred: The name's Fred! So let's call it even. You don't owe me anything.
      J. Montague Gypsum: Ah, but you owe me something. I was perfectly willing to jump off that bridge, and you stopped me. Therefore, my life is your responsibility.
      Fred: You mean you're not ever going to leave?
      J. Montague Gypsum: Why should I? I've got food, shelter, and shaving lotion. Everything I need but a pinch of oregano. Waddle down to the store and get me some, will you, Fred?
      Fred: The name is Ferdy!

    • (Fred and Barney enter an Aquarium and see a man-eating barracuspid fish)
      Barney: Hey, pretty fierce looking, huh, Fred?
      Fred: Hmm...
      Barney: Fred? What do you think?
      Fred: Nah. After seeing Gypsum tear up 10 pounds of sturgesarous steak Friday, I wouldn't give this fish an even chance with him.

  • Notes

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