Professor Mansfield: If a tree falls in the woods and nobody's there to see it or hear it, does it make a sound?
Will: Yes, yes it does...well no, no it doesn't...well, how far away is this tree from the subway? And how far away is the woods from the ghetto? If the tree falls on a gopher, does the gopher make a sound? What if the tree falls on Uncle Phil and he hurts the tree?