Nicholas "Nicky" Andrew Banks
Ashley: Oh, hi Will! It was, uh, casual day at my uh, school.
Will: Well, uh, that sounds like the, uh, truth.
Ashley: If I go down Will, I'm taking you with me!
Will: Ashley, I didn't do nothing!
(Philip is about to exercise, but changes his mind)
Philip: A one, and the hell with it!
Will: Hilary, I can appreciate your wanting to reach out to your African American brothers and sisters, but you're missing one thing.
Will: AFRICAN AMERICANS!
Philip: Me and your mother had a long talk last night about your going to public school, and if I'm satisfied with what I see, we can try it out for a semester.
Ashley: Oh Daddy, thank you, thank you!
Philip: Okay, go get changed.
Will (running up behind Philip and grabbing his chest): Oh, thank you uncle Phil!
Miss Sharpe: Will Mrs. Banks be joining us?
Will: I'm single... I, I mean, Mrs. Banks ran out when Ashley was just a tyke. So I had to be both mommy and daddy. We went from training wheels to training bras. (To Ashley) They both came off too soon, didn't they, honey?
Ashley: You showed me a life outside of Bel-Air. Where people don't have butlers. It's a drug, Will, and you got me hooked!
Will: Okay, you trippin'. No, you worse than trippin'. You've fallen, and you can't get up!
Will: Why'd you do it?
Ashley: Everyone at Bel-Air academy is so fake. The teachers, the students, the noses!
Ashley: I wanted to go to school where people have real values.
Philip: And people in Bel-Air don't have real values?
Hilary: It's pronounced "Porsche".
Ashley: You just had to go back in. We were out the door, Will! We were free!
Will: Hold it right there, Miss Tubman!
Miss Sharpe: Wait a minute. That's a fake mustache!
Will: No it's not!
Miss Sharpe:(Rips it off) Yes it is!
Will: No it's not!
Miss Sharpe: I don't know who you are, (To Ashley) but I'm calling your real parents right now! (Leaves)
Will: No, it's not!
[A moment's pause as Ashley runs after Ms. Sharpe]
Will: It's not!
Carlton: Ashley is taking all that money and saving it for a hostile takeover!
Will: Throw on a sweater and some pearls, and you could be Angela Lansbury!
Will: Ashley, don't tell me what you did. When Uncle Phil finds out, he goes after the usual suspects. And I am the usual suspect.
Philip (to Will): Look, my wife's nephew.
Carlton (about Ashley's skeptical behavior): Something is afoot.
Will: And something is a foot and a half.
At the time of this episode's airing, Renee Jones was also starring on the NBC soap opera Days of our Lives as Lexie Carver.
Title: Father Knows Best
The title of this episode is an allusion to the 1954 television series Father Knows Best, which starred Robert Young.
Carlton: The game's afoot.
This is an allusion to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's murder mysteries featuring the popular Sherlock Holmes character. It's something Holmes says to his parter, Doctor Watson, when they begin to investigate a murder case.
Will: Because most parents want the truth, but they can't handle the truth.
Will parodies Jack Nicholson's line from A Few Good Men.
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