Will: Yo, Carlton.
Will: Those cops were just doing their jobs?
Carlton: Will, don't get all bent out of shape.
Will: Man you ain't learn nothing this weekend, did you?
Carlton: I most certainly did. Always bring a map.
Carlton: If we would have a map, we wouldn't have had to drive 2 miles an hour trying to find a freeway entrance, and we wouldn't have been stopped.
Will: Oh, ok, ok. I get it now. We were stopped because we were driving too slow. Yeah, we were breaking the slowness limit. Oh, ok, well you see, I've never heard of that law before. But I did hear this other law. It's called the if you see a black guy driving anything but a burnt-out Pinto, you better stop him because he stole it law. Yeah I've heard that one. Oh, But see, I thought it was the black guy law, when in actuality, it was the slowness limit law. Oh, thank yoy for sharing that with me, Carlton. Good night.
Carlton: They were just doing their job.
Will: Good night, Carlton.
Carlton: What's your complaint here? We were detained for a few hours, Dad cleared things up, and we were released. The system works.
Will: I hope you like that system because you'll be seeing a whole lot of it in your lifetime.
Carlton: Not if I bring a map.
Will: You just don't get it, do you? No map is going to save you and neither is your glee club, or your fancy Bel-Air address, or who your daddy is. Because when you're driving in a nice car in a strange neighborhood, none of that matters. They only see one thing. (taps Carlton on his face)
Carlton: Well, maybe growing up where you did has made you a little touchy, but I think you've blown this whole thing out of proportion. If you look at the facts...
(Will walks away disgusted)
Will: Come on, let's sing.
Carlton: I'm not singing.
Will: Oh, come on. (sings) When Israel was in Egypt land...
Carlton: This is just retarded.
Will: Come on, man, let it go. You'll feel better.
Carlton: (sings) Let my people go.
Will: Oppressed so hard they could not stand...
Carlton: Let my people go.
Bob: (sings opera-style) Go down Moses,
way down in Egypt land.
Tell old Pharaoh...
Let my people go!
Reporter: The ringleader agreed to confess only if a camera crew were present to broadcast live. What you're about to see is a Minuteman-21 News exclusive. (camera shows Will)
Will: Yeah, we've done it! Word to Big Bird. We flicked 8 Benzitos, 15 Jags, and a Maserati, but I didn't like the upholstery, so I took it back, Jack!
Reporter: Do you have anything to say? (shows Carlton)
(Will is hanging out of the sunroof)
Will: No, man. No freeways, Carlton. Hey, Carlton, look out! A low bridge! Aah!
(Comes back into car with his head inside his shirt) Well, thanks a lot,
man! Now we have to go back and get my head! And I really liked that head!
Officer: Ok, fellas. We've had a lot of car thefts in the area, lately. You wanna talk about it?
Carlton: Okay, I think it's terrible!
Officer: You making fun of me, kid?
Carlton: Well, you're the one who wanted to talk about it! Quite frankly, I think it's a matter for the police to handle!
(Bob stops singing)
Will: We gotta get out of here. That big dude is making me nervous.
Will: Any time you see a white guy in jail, you know he did something bad.
Carlton: (recording on a tape recorder) Plans for Palm Springs. One, work on golf swing. Two, review SAT practice book. Three, ask Mr. Firth about a summer internship.
(Will pops up from behind his chair wearing a Freddy Krueger mask)
Will: Four, get the stick out of your butt.
Officer: Good news, Mr. Firth, your car is safe and sound and we got the perpetrators.
Mr. Firth: Those aren't the perpetrators. Those are my partner's son and nephew.
Philip: Legal partner.
Geoffrey: Lazy house.
Will: Yo, G., what up, yo? This is Will. I need a big favor.
Geoffrey: I am tired of doing favors for you spoiled children. I'm off duty. I am not an animal! (hangs up)
Will: Yo! I need another phone call. My butler hung up on me.
(after Vivian asks that the boys be released)
Sergeant: Could you please sit down? We're busy, now.
Vivian: (taking off her earrings) Oh, honey, we're about to get very busy up in here.
Carlton: Dad, if you were a cop, and you saw someone driving a car at 2 miles an hour, would you stop them?
Philip: That's what I asked myself the first night I was stopped.
Vivian: (to police officers) This has got to be the biggest amateur operation I have seen since Mayberry R.F.D.!
Philip (to the police officer): I've got a few questions for you. When you got this alleged confession from these two young men, did they have a lawyer present? No, because I'm their lawyer. Did you notify their parents? No, because we're their parents. So officer, don't tell us to wait and don't tell us to sit down. Just open that damn cell and let those two boys outta there or I'm gonna tie this place up with so much litigation (lividly) that your grandchildren are gonna need lawyers!
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic - Menší omyl (Minor Mistake)
During the jail scene, a segment of Bob singing I Write the Songs is cut out in syndication.
Syndication cuts the scene where Hilary tries to force Ashley to answer the telephone.
Carlton (singing): A B C D E F G H I got a gal in Kalamazoo!
The song Carlton's singing while driving the Mercedes is Harry Warren I've Got a Gal in Kalamazoo.
Vivian: Calm yourself, Barney Fife!
Barney Fife is the sheriff's deputy on the 1968 television series, The Andy Griffith Show.
Vivian: This is the worst display of justice since Mayberry R.F.D.!
Mayberry R.F.D.! was a spin off of The Andy Griffith Show. It did so poorly in the ratings that it's considered one of the worst spin offs in television history.
Visual: Freddy Krueger
When Will tries to scare Carlton in his car, the costume he is wearing is obviously Freddy Krueger, the popular monster/murderer from the A Nightmare on Elm Street film series.
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