Will's long-lost father, Lou, breezes into town and promises Will the moon, which angers Phil and Vivian, who give him the cold shoulder for walking out on Will and Vy. When Will was 4 years old, his father went to get a pack of cigarettes and never came back. Years later he became a trucker, but Will was going to college by then. When his father abandons him a second time, Will accepts the fact that Uncle Phil is the closest thing to a father that he has ever had.moreless
Little Boy [uncredited]
Will is wearing a Fred Flintstone shirt. Fred Flintstone is the main character from the cartoon The Flintstones, which is about a stone age family.
The episode ends with a shot of the Best Dad statue throughout the closing credits.
Goof: At the carnival, Will looks at a who's laughing and with his father; however, it's obvious that the laughter is not coming from the child at which Will is looking.
Lou: (about his trucking business) I'm making a little money.
Philip: Really? Why didn't you send any back to the wife and child you abandoned?
Vivian: Lou, if you walk out of Will's life now, don't you ever come back.
Philip: I have done everything for Will, and suddenly its like none of that matters. I can't believe he could be so selfish.
Vivian: Philip, listen to yourself. Someone is being selfish alright, but it isn't Will.
Vivian: Philip, stop moping. You know Will didn't mean any of that stuff he said.
Philip: Yeah, then why did he say it?! For four years I treated that boy like my own son. Whatever he needed, whether it was a pat on the head or a kick in the pants, I was there for him. I worked my ass off trying to keep him in line!
Geoffrey: And yet its come back with avengance
Will: Hey, Uncle Phil, that is not cool, man, the way you dissin' my father like that.
Philip The hell with your father!
Vivian: Philip, for God's sake.
Philip: He waltzes in here after 15 years.
Philip: Oh, excuse me. 14 years ... and acts like nothing has happened. Wake up, Will. This is the same guy who didn't think enough of you to pick up the damn phone.
Will: He made a mistake. I'm sorry that everybody can't be as perfect as you, Uncle Phil. But if I can forgive him, how come you can't?
Philip: Because he's not doin' this for you. He's doin' this for himself. And if you think any differently, then you're a fool!
Vivian: Hey, hey, just cool it. Just cool down. We can talk about this another time.
Will: You know what, Aunt Viv? Ain't even nothin' to talk about. I've been waitin' for this a long time, my whole life, and ain't nobody going to stop me. Come tomorrow, I'm outta here.
Philip: Oh, yeah? I don't think so.
Will: Who cares what you think? You are not my father!
Philip: Carlton, am I a good father?
Carlton: Yes, you're the best! Now can I have early access to my trust fund?
Philip: Not a chance
Carlton: I HATE YOU!
Philip: Oh, yeah? Well, TAKE A NUMBER!
Geoffry: When I am depressed, I think of the poem my mother taught me when I was a lad - The master lives a life of ease while we live life upon our knees. Waste not your ears, nor your breath, for he will soon die a violent death.
Lou: The day you were born was the happiest day of my life. When I held you, I thought I would never put you down.
Will: So why did you?
Will: Hilary, this is my father.
Hilary: (Laughing) No, Will's father is a deadbeat who left Will and his mom flat!
Lou: Thats right.
Hilary: Uncle Lou!!! (she hugs him)
Vivian: Geoffery, please show Lou to the family room while Will helps me clean the something.
Vivian: I wish you had told me Will . . . I really wish you had told me.
Will: I asked Geoffery to tell you!
Geoffery: I thought it would be more fun to do it this way . . . And I was right!
Carlton: Wow, 14 years, you must feel like you are on a roller coaster of emotions.
Will: No man, ain't no big thing.
Carlton: Let me hold you.
Will: Carlton, you ever feel like you being watched?
Carlton: Of course. When you look this good, you have to get used to it.
Will: And when you sound this stupid, you've got to get used to this! (Slaps Carlton)
Philip: If you'll excuse me, I think I'll skip dinner. I don't have much of an appetite.
Geoffrey: Should I call 911?
Philip: Sit down.
Lou: Ain't got time for no lecture.
Philip: I said sit down, Lou!
(Lou sits down)
Philip: You know, Will was doing just fine until you showed up. But now that you're back you have responsibilities to him.
Lou: Hey, look, we're still gonna take the trip.
Philip: Oh, bull! BULL!!! Will is not a coat that you hang in the closet, then pick it up when you're ready to wear it. His life goes on. He's not supposed to be here for you! You're supposed to be here for him!
Lou: You get off my back! You think I want this?! IT JUST HAPPENED!!! Now, when Will was a baby, I was scared...
Philip: CUT THE CRAP, ALL RIGHT?! CUT IT! 'Cause I've been there! But I didn't run out of my family. I was there everyday from them, because that's what a man does.
Lou: Fine, Philip! You win. You the man. You a better man than me. You happy? Now, are you gonna tell Will or not?
Philip: I'm not gonna do your dirty work for you.
Lou: Fine. I'll call him from the road.
Philip: Yeah, why don't you do that?
Lou: Yeah, I'll do that.
Will: Daddy-o! Whazzup?
Lou: Will, man I'm glad your here. Some business came up I gotta have. So, were gonna have to put our trip on hold. You understand right?
Will: Yeah, yeah that's cool.
Lou: Just for a couple weeks.
Will: Mmhm, I understand.
Lou: Maybe a little longer.
Will: Yeah, whatever, whatever.
Lou: Look, I'll call you next week, and we'll ion out the details, okay?
Will: Yeah, yeah.
Lou: It was great seeing you son.
Will: You too, Lou.
Philip: I'm sorry, Will.
Will: You know what? Actually, this works out better for me. You know, the slimmies of Summer are coming to class right next to now, you know what I'm saying?
Philip: Will, it's all right to be angry.
Will: Hey, why should I be mad? For saying, at least he said good-bye this time. I just wish I hadn't wasted my money buying this stupid present!
Philip: I-I'm sorry. If there was something that I...
Will: Hey, you no what? You ain't got to do nothing, not now, Uncle Phil. You know, it ain't like I'm still 5 years old, you know? It ain't like I'm gonna be sitting up every night asking my mom "When's daddy coming home?", you know? Who needs him? Hey, he wasn't there to teach me how to shoot my first basket, but I learned, didn't I? And I got pretty damn good at it, too, didn't I, Uncle Phil?
Philip: Yeah, you did.
Will: Got through my first date without him, right? I learned how to drive, I learned how to shave, I learned how to fight without him. I had 14 great birthdays without him! He never even sent me a damn card! THE HELL WITH HIM!!! (pauses) I didn't need him then, I don't need him now.
Will: No, you know what, Uncle Phil? I'ma get through college without him, I'ma get a great job without him, I'ma marry me a beautiful honey, and I'ma have me a whole bunch of kids. I'ma be a better father than he ever was, and I sure as hell don't need him for that, 'cause there ain't a damn thing he could ever teach me about how to love my kids! (long pause) How come he don't want me, man?
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic - Táta už má zase výmluvu (Dad Has an Excuse Again)
This is the first and only episode featuring Will's father. He was mentioned several times before.
Will: You was up there screaming so loud I thought I was sitting next to Patti LaBelle.
Patti LaBelle (nee Patricia Louise Holt) was the leader of the LaBelle, an American disco group that melted dance music with funk and glam rock. One of their biggest hits was Lady Marmalade. Patti LaBelle later had a successful solo career.
Title: Papa's Got a Brand-New Excuse
This title is a pun on James Brown's 1965 album Papa's Got a Brand New Bag.
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