Goof: When Ramon and Will are in the kitchen, Will takes a drink from the glass making it half empty. When the camera returns from Ramon the second time, the 3 glasses are full again.
Hilary: You look great mother but that's not how you wear a halter.
Vivian: It is when your breasts don't come with a receipt.
Will: Hey, Aunt Viv! Uncle...Phil? Whoa, you got that mad look in your eyes. Lemme guess? You grabbed Geoffrey's underwear by mistake. Am I right?
Philip: Will, why didn't you give that check to charity like I told you to?
Will: What are you talkin' 'bout? I did.
Philip: Don't stand there and lie to me.
Will: I'm NOT lyin'!
Philip: I just got back from the club, and I've never been so humiliated. I thought we had an agreement that that money was going to go where it was most needed. Now, you march upstairs and get me the check.
Will: I can't. The money's gone.
Vivian: Will, how could you have spent $1,000 already?
Ramon: Wow, Will! You must be loaded! You spent a grand and had another grand to give to me for basketball camp?! I gotta raise your shoeshine rate.
Philip: You gave the money to Ramon?
Will: Well, yeah. You know, it's just a loan, 'til his sneaker endorsement comes through, you know, around 2010.
(Philip and Vivian are debating going to the club)
Philip: After what Will did last night, they are all going to be gossiping about us. Why put ourselves through that?
Vivian: They won't be gossiping. Will gave the check back. Besides, people at our club aren't like that. I mean, no one cared about Mrs. Silverberg's divorce.
Philip: I heard she's been seeing the golf pro.
Vivian: I heard her husband caught them in the utility closet.
Hilary: Did you know both of them were wearing nothing but cleats?
Ashley: It was the tennis pro in the steam room, but the cleats part is right.
(later at the country club)
Philip: There must be some mistake.
Mr. Firth: Oh sure, and Mrs. Silverberg was wearing cleats because she forgot her shower shoes.
(Will takes a look at the cover of Carlton's book)
Will: How to Beat the Odds? Sorry, C. No way to beat it, you're odd.
Carlton: This is amazing! Did you know that the odds of getting hit by an asteroid are 1 in 6,000?
Will: Really? I'm feelin' kinda lucky, man, why don't you go outside?
Carlton: I'm ready for Monte Carlo Night. I read this book from cover to cover. Ask me about any odd pairing.
Will: Okay. Why is Michael Jackson hanging out with that kid from Home Alone?