Goof: Will tells Carlton that Paula asked her parents if he could live with them until he got better, but when she calls she says that she just heard he was sick.
(Paula hung up beofre Carlton or Will could reach the phone)
Will: You made me miss her call.
Carlton: It wasn't for you. It was for me.
Will: Carlton, give it up already man. She dumped you. You're like Prince Charles: you got the royal flush.
Will: I'm gonna take Uncle Phil's advice.
Carlton: You gonna go play in the free-way?
Will :(sounding whimpy) You've gone over the line. You don't never call a dude's mom.
Carlton: Oh so its ok to steal a guy's girlfriend so long as you don't tell his mommy about it.
Will: No no. This is serious. Even in ancient times, they would kill your cattle, they would burn your village, and they would stone your family. But they wouldn't never tell your mother, man.
Will: I'm gonna tell you everything that happened between me and Paula. When you first brought her over here man, I thought she was so fine, and I wanted ya'll to break up.
Carlton: That's very honest Will. I'm still mad, but I guess I'll have to live with it.
Will: Wait, there's more. I told her you had tuberculosis.
Carlton: YOU WHAT?!
Will: I'm sorry man. It just cam to me.
Carlton: I can't believe you did that. I'm gonna dig way doen deep inside and maybe in time, I'll be able to forgive you.
Will: Wait, theres more. I told her about her hand puppet.
Carlton: You told her about Binky?! I'LL KILL YOU!!! No I won't, I'm bigger than that. I guess I'll be honest too. You remember when Latisha stopped calling you?
Carlton: Well, I told her you worship Satan.
Will: Alright alright, it's cool. I'm a man, I can like with that.
Carlton: Wait, theres more. You notice how Ashley's been acting real funny aroud you lately?
Carlton: Well, I told her you shave your legs.
Will: What kind of monster are you?
Carlton: I'm sorry Will. I've just been a little jealous of your relationships.
Will: NO! No, THATS UNFORGIVABLE! THATS TOTALLY UNFORGIVABLE!!!
Carlton: Wait, theres more. You remember your friend Jazz?
Will: OH MY GOD!!! What did you do with Jazz?!
Carlton: You know that funky smell coming from the basement? (Will looks horrified) PSYCHE! This honesty thing feels great. What do you say we tell Geoffrey why his citizenship never came through?
(They turn around and see Geoffrey listening)
(opening the Sonogram envelope)
Philip: Oh my gosh!
Vivian: What is it, a boy or girl?
Philip: This isn't a Sonogram. It's a bill for twenty-five thousand dollars. This baby's costing me a fortune!
Will: Congratulations, you're having a Hilary!
Carlton: Okay Will, I'm onto you.
Will: Look, Carlton man, I have no idea what you are talking about.
Carlton: I'm not stupid Will. It's all coming together. The runny nose, the watery eyes. You just couldn't keep your hands to yourself.
Will: Look, look Carlton now, I know you are sick. Probably a little delirious now, you probably had one too many of those children's Aspirin's or something.
Carlton: That piece was mine.
Will: You ain't get to get all nasty.
Carlton: You shouldn't have done it Will.
Will: I know, I know Carlton. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have taken Paula out you're right man. She was coming onto me, I just couldn't resist man.
Carlton: Paula? I was talking about that last piece of cheesecake.
Will (Will looks around and starts stammering): Uh, so was I. See you ain't hip to it, see in Philly we name our food, right? Like cheesecake is Paula, and uh, a Snack Pack is Boomsheeka.
(Will walks towards the camera and speaks into to it)
Will: I can't see him. You can. Is he buying it?
(Carlton's arms are folded and is sneering at Will)
(Philip and Vivian walk in with a Sonogram)
Philip: Vivian why are you making such a big deal about this? I say we do it right here, right now.
Geoffrey: Oh good. A floor show.
Will: You gotta go someplace that gets Paula off your mind.
Carlton: It's impossible. Everywhere I turn, I see something that reminds me of her, something we've shared together: a patch of grass, a beach blanket, a swing.
Will: Maybe you should go to bed.
Will: My friend knows this sqaw that he's completely in love with. But this particular sqaw just broke up with his best friend. Now, he don't wanna diss his boy or nothin, but he'd like to know how long is a good time to wait befire he... raidsthis sqaw's village, if you know what I'm sayin.
Philip: Ummmmm. Interesting you should bring that up. I had a case like that come before me just recently.
Philip: Word up. Now this guy started going out with his best friend's girl hours after they broke up.
Will: Whoa, he waited that long?
Philip: Well, this other guy didn't think it was that long. He was very jealous and he shot his friend.
Philip: No. Let's say he's, uh, two olives short of a martini.
Philip: So before your friend starts raiding any villages, he better be sure its worth it.
Ashley: Will, just a week ago, she was Carlton's girlfriend. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
Will: Yes Ashley. It means she's having a better week.
Carlton: You're not staying here. Why don't you go stay with Paula?
Will: She asked. Her parents wouldn't let me.
Carlton: She has parents? She never introduced me to her parents. She told me they were dead.
Carlton: Why don't you act like an adult?
Will: Why don't you look like one?
The layout of the pool house is slighly different from what will be the layout on future episodes. In this episode, the kitchen and the entrance to the bedroom are to the right of the windows (when seen from inside the poolhouse), while the area where the audience is seated faces the wall with the main entrance and windows. In all future episodes that feature the pool house, the kitchen and the entrance to the bedroom are facing the main entrance and windows, while the area where the studio audience is seated, is to the right of the windows.
Title: The Cold War
The Cold War (1945-1990) was the psychological tension that rose between the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics and United States after World War II.
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