The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Will: Uncle Phil, ya busy? Philip: What's on your mind, Will? Will: Jewel kissed me. Philip: It's customary to kiss the bride. Will: No, no, no. Uncle Phil, this was like one of them Fatal Attraction elevator scene kisses. You know what I'm sayin'? You know? Philip: Oh, come on. You're exaggerating, Will. Will: Listen. Listen. Uncle Phil, I'm tellin' you, I went into the room to see if she needed anything. All right? She kissed me! On my lips! She jumped on me, and she was stuck on me, and I was tryin' to shake her off, but I couldn't get her off. She was like a little naked velcro midget.

Philip: When I married Vivian, I lost all my friends. Isn't that right honey? (Vivian looks at Philip coldly) Philip: (stammering) But Uh, you know it wasn't like I was going to need them. (Vivian runs upstairs) Will: Wow Uncle Phil, I knew you had a big appetite but both feet?

Jazz: You are my best friend. My other friends pretend to like me for my money. Will: That's because you owe it to them.