Philip: (to Will as he walks in the room) Excuse me! Is this what you've been tellin' my boy?!
Philip: That life is one big orgy?!
(he starts backing Will and Carlton into a corner)
Philip: Well, college is hard work son. Followed by a family, which is even more hard work! And a teenage daughter who doesn't wanna be seen with you in public! And a wife! A wife who won't let you anywhere near her! And a butler! A butler who may be the father of your child! And a gardener! A GUARD...!!
Carlton: DAD! DAD!