The Golden Girls Forums

NBC (ended 1992)

Best Sarcastic Dorothy Lines

  • Avatar of KingOfQueenz84

    KingOfQueenz84

    [1]Mar 14, 2006
    • member since: 06/15/05
    • level: 3
    • rank: Soup Nazi
    • posts: 31
    My favorite parts of episodes are when Dorothy has a sarcastic reply(usually to Rose). Some of them are:

    Dorothy just broke up with her boyfriend(cant remember name) and is sitting on the couch all upset. Rose comes and and says:

    Rose: Are you still upset because you broke up with (boyfriends name)?

    Dorothy: No Rose. Im upset because Phyllis George left the morning news!

    ------------------

    Dorothy comes walking into the house from the rain outside:

    Dorothy: Boy, its really coming down out there! (meaning the rain)

    Rose: Whats coming down?

    Dorothy: The Liberace Marquis at Caesars Palace!!! The rain Rose!! The Rain!!!

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of Random862

    Random862

    [2]Mar 15, 2006
    • member since: 11/30/05
    • level: 7
    • rank: Talk Show Host
    • posts: 830
    Gosh! There are so many good ones. I'll have to give this one some thought and post back. She was the Queen of sarcasm, next to Sophia, LOL

    Good topic by the way
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of flashgarrick

    flashgarrick

    [3]Mar 15, 2006
    • member since: 09/05/05
    • level: 10
    • rank: Holy Level 10!
    • posts: 430
    (Blanche's sister needs a kidney transplant or she'll die.)
    Rose: Why would she need a kidney?
    Dorothy: To feed the cat, Rose!

    ---------------------------------

    (Blanche is talking about "Little Richard," the son of her millionaire boyfriend.)
    Rose: Little Richard was in Bermuda?!
    Dorothy: Yes, he was burying Fats Domino in the sand.

    Edited on 03/15/2006 6:10pm
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of vivaldi4

    vivaldi4

    [4]Mar 31, 2006
    • member since: 10/28/05
    • level: 5
    • rank: Caveman Lawyer
    • posts: 701
    Episode where Rose has made (something Scandanavian) Krispies, which smell so horrible that Dorothy & Blanche walk in holding their noses. When Rose offers the krispies to the girls, Dorothy says:

    "Oh please, if you had served these to the Donner Party, they still would have eaten each other!"
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of juliane729

    juliane729

    [5]Apr 8, 2006
    • member since: 06/11/05
    • level: 9
    • rank: Door Number 2
    • posts: 280
    I have a couple:

    Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
    Dorothy: Like no one else.

    AND

    Rose: Can you belive it? I'm beginning to think Blanche is hung up on her looks.
    Dorothy: Boy, you don't need lightening to strike you.
    Rose: No thanks. Not again. Once was enough.
    Dorothy: An extra pice of the puzzle.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of vivaldi4

    vivaldi4

    [6]Apr 14, 2006
    • member since: 10/28/05
    • level: 5
    • rank: Caveman Lawyer
    • posts: 701
    Dorothy to Rose about aging:
    Look, I'm five years older too, so is Blanche
    (Blanche looks at Doro with a frown)
    You have more wrinkles, I have more wrinkles, so has Blanche.
    (Blanche gasps insulted)
    And so you're a little thicker around the middle -- so is Blanche.
    (Blanche is mortified)

    lol
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of flashgarrick

    flashgarrick

    [7]Apr 16, 2006
    • member since: 09/05/05
    • level: 10
    • rank: Holy Level 10!
    • posts: 430
    LOL, I saw that episode a couple of nights ago.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of yuki_megami

    yuki_megami

    [8]Apr 18, 2006
    • member since: 08/01/05
    • level: 24
    • rank: Golden Girl
    • posts: 501


    Rose: I haven't been with a man in that special way since Charlie died.
    Blanche: Get outta here!
    Rose: It's true! Charlie is the only man I've ever slept with, and my first time was on our wedding night.
    Blanche: GET OUTTA HERE!!
    Dorothy: Oh back off Blanche! Not all of us are classified by the navy as a friendly port!
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of TheBatgirl

    TheBatgirl

    [9]Apr 20, 2006
    • member since: 06/22/05
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 52
    Dorothy: Goodnight Rose! Go to sleep honey! Pray for brains!

    Dorothy: Blanche are you sure your pregnant?
    Blanche: I just did a home pregnancy test-it's right here.
    Rose: It looks like a perfume sample
    Dorothy: Put it behind your ears Rose.

    (Dorothy opens the front door and Stan comes in carrying a black garbage bag filled with receipts they need for back-tax purposes)
    Dorothy: Oh, How nice of you to bring garbage!
    Stan: Our future is in this bag!
    Dorothy: How appropriate

    Blanche: Since when do you care how you look?
    Dorothy: I think it started when I came down from the bell tower and had my hump fixed!

    Blanche: This is strictly off the record, but Dirk is nearly five years younger than I am.
    Dorothy: In what, Blanche, dog years?
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of XenasSidekick

    XenasSidekick

    [10]Apr 23, 2006
    • member since: 06/27/05
    • level: 7
    • rank: Talk Show Host
    • posts: 57

    Another one: Dorothy and Blanche are coming into the kitchen with pizzas.

    Rose: "What do you got?" - Dorothy: "Chicken, Rose. I hope you like it flat and crunchy!" 

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of tv247

    tv247

    [11]Apr 23, 2006
    • member since: 06/14/05
    • level: 20
    • rank: Cow Bell
    • posts: 1,008

    Those are all funny! Here's one I recently watched on one of the DVDs:

    Dorothy (talking about how Stan proposed to her): ...I went to the bathroom, came out, I smiled at him, he winked at me, and then I downed the whole glass of champagne in one sip. It didn't go down very well. After, he told me my engagement ring was at the bottom of the glass. It turned up 3 days later.

    Rose: Where did it turn up, Dorothy?

    Dorothy: On the Home Shopping Channel, Rose.

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of tornadochaser

    tornadochaser

    [12]Apr 27, 2006
    • member since: 08/25/05
    • level: 4
    • rank: Thighmaster
    • posts: 18

    Ah, I have sooooooo many favorites. Dorothy really is a fantastic character and many times I've used her lines in real life! They're just too great not to use

    When Dorothy is waiting for her daughter Kate and Rose comes in with the drinks, Rose asks "Shall I set this down?" Dot replies, "No Rose, go to the corner and set up a stand."

    When Rose asks Dorothy if she's worried about meeting her son Michael's future black mother-in-law, Dot replies, "No Rose I'm nervous that if Sonny Bono gets elected mayor of Palm Springs, he's gonna make all the postmen wear leather bell-bottoms and fur vests."

    When Blanche is in disbelief because Rose hasn't "been" with a man since Charlie died, Dorothy says, "Oh Blanche, back off. Not everyone is classified by the Navy as a friendly port."

    When Rose is asking Dorothy and Blanche for advice on how to turn Ernest on, Blanche says that there are many ways, to which Dorothy replies, "I think we should forget the ones that involve swinging naked from a doorpost!"

    Also during the same episode as above when Blanche is trying to give Rose ideas of how to inspire romance from Ernest, Dorothy says, "Blanche, dessert toppings are not the answer!"

    Can you all tell I love Dorothy? hehe

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of YPRikku

    YPRikku

    [13]May 3, 2006
    • member since: 11/25/04
    • level: 4
    • rank: Thighmaster
    • posts: 90
    Dorothy and Blanche are coming into the kitchen with pizzas.

    Rose: "What do you got?" - Dorothy: "Chicken, Rose. I hope you like it flat and crunchy!"

    This has to be the funniest one ever!
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of dramafreezone

    dramafreezone

    [14]May 12, 2006
    • member since: 08/03/05
    • level: 16
    • rank: Church Lady
    • posts: 199

    Dorothy introducing a date that her mother scared off years earlier  "You remember my lying, vicious toad of a mother."

    Police enter just after Dorothy catches her ex, Stan, in bed with her sister  Dorothy: "Officer, shoot this man"  Officer: "Sorry, lady, we can only shoot looters."  Dorothy: "Stan, pick up the tv on your way out."

    Dorothy find out how much back taxes that she owes. Dorothy: "5,000 dollars?  I don't have 5,000 dolllars!"  IRS Agent "Uncle Sam doesn't like hearing that."  Dorothy:  "Neither does Aunt Dorothy."

    Dorothy finds out Sophia's been squandering money.  Sophia: "I'm saving it for my old age."  Dorothy: "Old age?!  You don't leave fingerprints anymore."

    The girls discussing gaining weight.  Dorothy: "It's a fact Rose, it always takes three days for the fat to show up."  Rose: "Where does it go in the meantime?"  Dorothy: "To Connecticut, Rose!"

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of chelimina

    chelimina

    [15]May 12, 2006
    • member since: 07/05/05
    • level: 5
    • rank: Caveman Lawyer
    • posts: 66
    Rose is worried about going on a cruise with Arnie (you know, the same guy that plays Miles)....

    Blanche: Is it about Arnie?

    Dorothy: No, Blanche...She's upset because they keep changing the taste of Coke!
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of tv247

    tv247

    [16]May 14, 2006
    • member since: 06/14/05
    • level: 20
    • rank: Cow Bell
    • posts: 1,008

    Rose actually had a sarcastic comeback in one episode:

    Blanche: Oh, Rose, you had a leak in your room, too?

    Rose: No, Blanche, I was just milking the cow in my closet. Gee, when I don't get enough sleeep I can be as bit**y as you and Dorothy!

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of yuki_megami

    yuki_megami

    [17]May 20, 2006
    • member since: 08/01/05
    • level: 24
    • rank: Golden Girl
    • posts: 501
    This qoute is from where Dorthy and Rose and raising Mink and discussing Spanish Fly.

    Dorothy: It is not a fly, Rose.
    Rose: Spanish fly is not a fly?
    Dorothy: No.
    Rose: What is it?
    Dorothy: It's a beetle.
    Rose: They call it a fly, but it's really a beetle?
    Dorothy: Yes.
    Rose: How do they know it's Spanish?
    Dorothy: Cause it wears a little sombrero, Rose

    During the hurricane episode
    Dorothy: Ma, what are you doing?
    Sophia: Filling sandbags, Dorothy, there's a hurricane a-coming!
    Dorothy: A-coming?!
    Sophia: That's right. People only use the 'a' when a really big storm is a-coming or a-brewing, so grab a sack and start a-shoveling!
    Dorothy: Ma, there is no hurricane a-coming.
    Sophia: Don't patronize me!
    Dorothy: I'm not patronizing you, I'm a-mocking you!

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of farnaholic

    farnaholic

    [18]Jun 21, 2006
    • member since: 12/30/05
    • level: 7
    • rank: Talk Show Host
    • posts: 1,650
    I have soo many fav quotes, i'm gng to have to think about this one long and hard. i did however get a great laugh from reading all of these... Thnx!
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of real_stingy

    real_stingy

    [19]Sep 3, 2006
    • member since: 06/15/05
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 42
    Episode 303 (The one that got away)

    (Dorthy and Rose discussing the flying saucers)

    Rose: But dorthy, planes aren't that bright or that thin.

    Dorthy: Neither is Oprah Winfrey, but that doesn't make her a flying saucer.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of real_stingy

    real_stingy

    [20]Sep 3, 2006
    • member since: 06/15/05
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 42
    actually it was episode 403 #79 woooooopsy
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.