NBC (ended 1992)
Those are all funny! Here's one I recently watched on one of the DVDs:
Dorothy (talking about how Stan proposed to her): ...I went to the bathroom, came out, I smiled at him, he winked at me, and then I downed the whole glass of champagne in one sip. It didn't go down very well. After, he told me my engagement ring was at the bottom of the glass. It turned up 3 days later.
Rose: Where did it turn up, Dorothy?
Dorothy: On the Home Shopping Channel, Rose.
Ah, I have sooooooo many favorites. Dorothy really is a fantastic character and many times I've used her lines in real life! They're just too great not to use
When Dorothy is waiting for her daughter Kate and Rose comes in with the drinks, Rose asks "Shall I set this down?" Dot replies, "No Rose, go to the corner and set up a stand."
When Rose asks Dorothy if she's worried about meeting her son Michael's future black mother-in-law, Dot replies, "No Rose I'm nervous that if Sonny Bono gets elected mayor of Palm Springs, he's gonna make all the postmen wear leather bell-bottoms and fur vests."
When Blanche is in disbelief because Rose hasn't "been" with a man since Charlie died, Dorothy says, "Oh Blanche, back off. Not everyone is classified by the Navy as a friendly port."
When Rose is asking Dorothy and Blanche for advice on how to turn Ernest on, Blanche says that there are many ways, to which Dorothy replies, "I think we should forget the ones that involve swinging naked from a doorpost!"
Also during the same episode as above when Blanche is trying to give Rose ideas of how to inspire romance from Ernest, Dorothy says, "Blanche, dessert toppings are not the answer!"
Can you all tell I love Dorothy? hehe
Dorothy introducing a date that her mother scared off years earlier "You remember my lying, vicious toad of a mother."
Police enter just after Dorothy catches her ex, Stan, in bed with her sister Dorothy: "Officer, shoot this man" Officer: "Sorry, lady, we can only shoot looters." Dorothy: "Stan, pick up the tv on your way out."
Dorothy find out how much back taxes that she owes. Dorothy: "5,000 dollars? I don't have 5,000 dolllars!" IRS Agent "Uncle Sam doesn't like hearing that." Dorothy: "Neither does Aunt Dorothy."
Dorothy finds out Sophia's been squandering money. Sophia: "I'm saving it for my old age." Dorothy: "Old age?! You don't leave fingerprints anymore."
The girls discussing gaining weight. Dorothy: "It's a fact Rose, it always takes three days for the fat to show up." Rose: "Where does it go in the meantime?" Dorothy: "To Connecticut, Rose!"
Rose actually had a sarcastic comeback in one episode:
Blanche: Oh, Rose, you had a leak in your room, too?
Rose: No, Blanche, I was just milking the cow in my closet. Gee, when I don't get enough sleeep I can be as bit**y as you and Dorothy!